Slightly Confused

I can't seem to figure out what these people are thinking/feeling/reacting to. I feel like I have so much history with people that when I meet them again it's hard to figure out how they feel about seeing me again, and then at the same time they deny anything when I actually ask. I know there's got to be more to it, or else why are things so different with others?

Then there's the people I want to know, people I am seriously attracted to (as friends!) but I can't read them. I can't tell if it's all genuine or if it's politeness, and I'm sick or always thinking so much about all of it and not being able to sort things out. DAMN!

See, I'm a Gemini, and I can see and understand other people's opinions. And I'm forever second-guessing myself because I change my mind and my opinions by the second when something happpens and it's all just so much work and I don't want to mess it all up, but I can't not react..... And then there's the fact that I am forever changing my own mind about things, that I'm forever rearranging my prejudices, and rationalizing the thoughts that I have with what I should be doing, but am not.

In the end, it's not that I feel like I did something wrong, I just feel misunderstood because I'm not constant and I'm dying for consistency in others and I don't think they people I want to be around can handle that, but the people that can I don't want to spend time with. Any maybe it really comes down to just being the chase. And when I feel like I've got what I was looking for I lose interest. And if that's what it is, I'm sure people are feeling rejected or ignored or disrespected or conned or flat out pissed that I'm f-ing with their emotions .... if those are genuine too.

And God, are my own emotions anything more than whims? When I'm bored with what I have do I search for more? Do I crave attention and action and excitement so much that I'm willing ot hurt the people I love in order to be temporarily happy? Do I crave something different so much that I'd even hurt myself?

And how much will I regret these choices when I'm sick of change and wanting to go back to how things used to be?????