Month Four

Chunko, a few days ago I had the option of either putting together your brand spanking new crib or writing your letter on time. Obviously, I chose the crib. My bedroom is still torn apart because I haven't had the opportunity to put everything back after rearranging my life (it feels) to give you your own space, but it has been wonderful having you so close, yet not having to worry about rolling over and smooshing you. I hate to say it, but the only reason you got a new crib was that the used one we had bought for your sister was recalled, and I got sick of the 'natural' wood color of all the furniture in the room and went for white instead. We'll see if it stays white... we're planning to have you and Taryn share a full sized bed for a while after you grow out of the crib, and your bed is convertible so you'll be in it for a while.

You still don't sleep long by yourself, but I'm finally able to lay you down in the crib, turn on the vibrate and pat your tummy for a few minutes until you fall asleep. We've been looking at daycare places for you two this past week, and hopefully you'll be able to sleep better there than you do here. If not, at least I hope we don't have to pay extra. I'm so bummed to have to leave you guys, but I have no choice. The economy is crap (I'm sure you'll learn just how bad it got when you get to high school) and we can't risk me staying home and Papa losing his job at the bank. But, you'll have it better in some ways than your sister, since Nana will watch you one day, Papa will have you one day and I'll be home one day each week.

So Chunko, the mantra in the house right now is 'Roll Chunko, Roll!" You rolled for the first time a few weeks ago, but only back to front. When we do tummy time you can totally lift up your head, but most of the time you just lay it down and watch what is going on in the room. And even though you've been laughing for a few months now, your belly laugh now is the greatest. People stop and look when we are out in public and you start your laughing, then can't believe such a small baby laughs so heartily. Your 4-month appointment is on Monday, but we're guessing you're probably close to 15lbs and 26 inches which is bigger than your sister, but not by a whole lot, although you seem like a much bigger child.

We've met a lot of other moms with kids your age, and you are by far the loudest, most talking-est one of all, and my wish for you this month is that you stay a social and engaging person throughout your life. I've struggled with shyness that destroyed my sense or self in a way it's hard to explain and I just hope you never have to. And your sister.... she used to be scared of a fly's shadow but now will strike up a conversation with any person on the street she sees. I see you so far ahead of us both, and hope you stay there in terms of comfort in your own skin.

Well my Love, Papa just got you out of the bath, so it's time for milk, swaddle and sweet, deep sleep. I love you my Angel, I love you so much more than I imagined was possible, and I will keep loving you more and more each day until if feels like my heart will explode... then I'll just keep in loving.

I love you,
Mama