The belt tightening is starting to infring on my pregnant belly.
Honestly, I feel lucky though, because we are not on the verge of losing our house, we have enough food, and can still afford gas for two cars. But those extras are gone, less eating out (sorry Figlet), less clothes (for those of us not growing four inches per year), and no vacation on the horizon.
This will sound stupid, because it's the opposite for many people, but our Stupid Spending of the last two years? That turned out to be out insulation from this whole economic crisis we've been thrown into.
Our budget is basically this:
Gross Income - Retirement, Taxes and Insurance = Net Income
Then,
Net Income - Monthly Bills - Food, Gas and Essentials = Disposable Income
Therefore,
Dispoable Income = What Gets Paid on the Credit Cards
Get it?
We've been dropping hundreds of dollars per month on our credit card bills to try to get them paid off sometime in the next year or so, since we were contemplating upgrading to a bigger house. But lately, we've been spending more on the "Food, Gas and Essentials" which means less on the credit cards, but really, we're still paying much more than the minimums each month.
So in a stupid, roundabout, and not entirely logical way, we haven't been affected so much by all this turmoil, except that it's going to take longer than anticipated to get out of debt. But really, doesn't it always?
This is my way of saying that I am very thankful that we made mostly sound financial decisions for the past few years and I feel lucky that we aren't struggling as so many others are right now. Things are tight, but things are always tight with us. A big squeeze has been that P's grandparents aren't working anymore due to crap health issues, so we are sending them money every month so they can buy food, etc. We had been supporting Jojo for the past year and a half, and the girl can eat! So there was another drain, not including what it cost us to get her up here, and our latest trip to Paraguay. Childcare, student loans, savings for maternity leave... it all adds up very quickly, but we have a plan, and that's all I can ask for.
I'm just seeing more and more self-employed people applying for benefits because they are filing bankruptcy, more and more homeowners who are losing their homes, young parents who can't affors insurance for their kids, older folks who needs medications and treatments, but can't afford thier own insurance premiums and copays.... it goes on and on. I try to stay positive, Obama will be able to turn things around for those who really need the help right now.
And that's all for this morning's rant. Thanks for tuning in!
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
Showing posts with label money. Show all posts
July 9, 2008
January 30, 2008
Blurbs
Have I ever mentioned how much I hate being manipulated? No? Well, let me explain…
I don’t mind being asked for favors, really, I relish it because it makes me feel important, and needed, and useful, and I do like doing things for people. But I abhor when people try to get me to do things in a backhanded way, guilt-tripping, dropping hints, being wishy-washy…
Hate it.
Especially with my clients. It’s one thing to have a sad story and I’m going to feel bad regardless of what the outcome it, but when you try to use that sad story to get me to do favors for you, then my sympathy turns to anger, real-ass-quick. Because not only and I not willing to lose my job so you can get more faster, I’m not willing to sell my soul for a months’ worth of benefits.
Which makes me think of a conversation I had recently with my dear husband, (whom I love dearly and have to do something real nice for Valentine’s Day because he’s been living with a bitch-and-rant wife for the last week. Sorry Punkin) in which we tried to figure out if the end result really can justify the means.
If I do something bad, maybe illegal, or just grimy, is it balanced out by the fact that I’m doing it for a good reason? Which then begs the argument of if I do something good, but for a crappy reason, where do I stand karmically?
This sounds familiar… but I have it running through my head constantly, slapping my brain around like the little loose end of a movie in an old-school projector.
***
And I also wanted to ask, like, why do I still get my jollies seeing men oogle sometimes, even when they are a bit skeevy? One double take can get my mind out of a downward spiral as long as he isn’t too creepy, but if he’s with his lady-friend, it pisses me off.
***
I was talking to a coworker the other day, one who drives 2 Mercedes and is always coming to work with designer bags and such. She commented on my boots, and I started bragging that I had bought them years ago at Payless for like $12. She got this shocked look on her face and told me I shouldn’t talk so loud so people wouldn’t know they were so cheap. And I had to tell her, Girl, I am damn proud of my $12 boots that after 5 tears they still get compliments. But she just looked flabbergasted, like, how the hell can you be proud to be wearing such cheap shoes?. Hehe.
It got me thinking though of my pipe-dreams to drive a nice car and carry a Prada purse. I really don’t know what I would do if I was rich. I joke around that I would buy an x5, but really? I don’t know if I could live with myself paying so much for a freaking car. I mean, I drive 20 minutes to and from work every day. And that includes going home at lunch to eat. I’d be juiced to get a Highlander Hybrid and a pair of real leather boots, and then I’d have probably $40k left over, instead of buying a luxury car. Yes, it would be nice, but I don’t give a damn what the Joneses think of me, they’ve seem by POS Mazda every day for the last 3 years, and I don’t think a nice car will change the bargain lover that I am at heart.
Laaa-deee-deee-daaaa….
I’m waiting to go to an all-day training, so excuse the blurbs. No time to get into the nitty-gritty details of something. Except!
In my mind: hard work + sacrifice = rewards.
Except in my life: hard work + sacrifice – fun = debt
Whatever happened to being rewarded for your hard work? Doesn’t it sometimes feel like we work, and work, and work, and we don’t ever go anywhere? I work 160 hours per month, and all I’ve been able to do with that is pay down my debt. Credit card, mortgage, school loans… I feel like I’m working for nothing, but then if I wasn’t working, I’d be screwed. I wanted to wait to have another baby until the credit cards were halved, and my school loans were paid off, but DAMN GINA. I don’t want my kids to be 10 years apart!
*sigh*
No one ever told me being an adult would be so hard. But I do have to be appreciative for what we have, because every night in Marin, there are 1600 people who don’t have a home. And that doesn’t include people who share a room between themselves and their kids, paying $500 per month to have ONE ROOM. They work, and they have nothing to show for it. They can’t go to school to better themselves, because they have to work to feed their kids.
I’m going to find a volunteer venture. I’m not sure what yet, but I have too much to not give back. I feel better now.
I don’t mind being asked for favors, really, I relish it because it makes me feel important, and needed, and useful, and I do like doing things for people. But I abhor when people try to get me to do things in a backhanded way, guilt-tripping, dropping hints, being wishy-washy…
Hate it.
Especially with my clients. It’s one thing to have a sad story and I’m going to feel bad regardless of what the outcome it, but when you try to use that sad story to get me to do favors for you, then my sympathy turns to anger, real-ass-quick. Because not only and I not willing to lose my job so you can get more faster, I’m not willing to sell my soul for a months’ worth of benefits.
Which makes me think of a conversation I had recently with my dear husband, (whom I love dearly and have to do something real nice for Valentine’s Day because he’s been living with a bitch-and-rant wife for the last week. Sorry Punkin) in which we tried to figure out if the end result really can justify the means.
If I do something bad, maybe illegal, or just grimy, is it balanced out by the fact that I’m doing it for a good reason? Which then begs the argument of if I do something good, but for a crappy reason, where do I stand karmically?
This sounds familiar… but I have it running through my head constantly, slapping my brain around like the little loose end of a movie in an old-school projector.
***
And I also wanted to ask, like, why do I still get my jollies seeing men oogle sometimes, even when they are a bit skeevy? One double take can get my mind out of a downward spiral as long as he isn’t too creepy, but if he’s with his lady-friend, it pisses me off.
***
I was talking to a coworker the other day, one who drives 2 Mercedes and is always coming to work with designer bags and such. She commented on my boots, and I started bragging that I had bought them years ago at Payless for like $12. She got this shocked look on her face and told me I shouldn’t talk so loud so people wouldn’t know they were so cheap. And I had to tell her, Girl, I am damn proud of my $12 boots that after 5 tears they still get compliments. But she just looked flabbergasted, like, how the hell can you be proud to be wearing such cheap shoes?. Hehe.
It got me thinking though of my pipe-dreams to drive a nice car and carry a Prada purse. I really don’t know what I would do if I was rich. I joke around that I would buy an x5, but really? I don’t know if I could live with myself paying so much for a freaking car. I mean, I drive 20 minutes to and from work every day. And that includes going home at lunch to eat. I’d be juiced to get a Highlander Hybrid and a pair of real leather boots, and then I’d have probably $40k left over, instead of buying a luxury car. Yes, it would be nice, but I don’t give a damn what the Joneses think of me, they’ve seem by POS Mazda every day for the last 3 years, and I don’t think a nice car will change the bargain lover that I am at heart.
Laaa-deee-deee-daaaa….
I’m waiting to go to an all-day training, so excuse the blurbs. No time to get into the nitty-gritty details of something. Except!
In my mind: hard work + sacrifice = rewards.
Except in my life: hard work + sacrifice – fun = debt
Whatever happened to being rewarded for your hard work? Doesn’t it sometimes feel like we work, and work, and work, and we don’t ever go anywhere? I work 160 hours per month, and all I’ve been able to do with that is pay down my debt. Credit card, mortgage, school loans… I feel like I’m working for nothing, but then if I wasn’t working, I’d be screwed. I wanted to wait to have another baby until the credit cards were halved, and my school loans were paid off, but DAMN GINA. I don’t want my kids to be 10 years apart!
*sigh*
No one ever told me being an adult would be so hard. But I do have to be appreciative for what we have, because every night in Marin, there are 1600 people who don’t have a home. And that doesn’t include people who share a room between themselves and their kids, paying $500 per month to have ONE ROOM. They work, and they have nothing to show for it. They can’t go to school to better themselves, because they have to work to feed their kids.
I’m going to find a volunteer venture. I’m not sure what yet, but I have too much to not give back. I feel better now.
November 15, 2007
The American Dream
I have always said I don't want to be rich, I just want to be comfortable. I want to go an entire year without worrying about money: how will we pay our bills? How can we pay down our debt? What the hell are we going to do if P doesn't get a job soon?
I don't want to win millions of dollars in the lottery, but I can't say that I'd complain if I won enough to pay off our debts and fund our retirement accounts. I try not to worry about the future too much, I have enough to stress off right now, but this job puts it in perspective. If I don't start saving now, I might be on the other side of the desk in 40 years.
I'm frustrated that it feels like life is one hurdle after another. I don't want to be catching up for the rest of my life. I do dream of a bigger house with a yard, but mostly so that I can get my mind off that fact that we can barely pay our mortgage right now.
I know part of the problem is that we're trying to do too much. We're trying to help friends and family financially, and there is simply not enough to go around right now. We've cut out most of the extras, no new clothes, no eating out, no movies, no clubs, no presents, and it still just isn't enough. We're trying to be understading of other people who think they are in a similar position, but we see what their money is spent on, and for us, it's not even an option. And it's frustrating to hear people complain about how broke they are when they are sporting new clothes or whatever.
We're trying to be understanding, we really are. But we are thisclose to losing it all. And the only person who can really understand this is P, because he can see what we are missing.
I can see the silver lining though. We are bonding over our anxiety. We sit and talk about what we'd do if we have a million dollars, and it's a pipe-dream, but it takes us out of the misery of the present. We discuss what is really important to us: do we save for retirement, or for Taryn's school fund? And it's kind of scary that we haven't been this deep on certain issues before, but it always happens at the right time.
And I know it will be okay. Eventually, things will turn up again, I just feel like I can't catch a break right now, and it's depressing. Even when I win, I lose. I am grateful that we are all healthy right now, we have enough food, we have a place to live, we're going to visit family and at least for those few weeks we are gone, we won't have to worry about how far we are from the American Dream.
I don't want to win millions of dollars in the lottery, but I can't say that I'd complain if I won enough to pay off our debts and fund our retirement accounts. I try not to worry about the future too much, I have enough to stress off right now, but this job puts it in perspective. If I don't start saving now, I might be on the other side of the desk in 40 years.
I'm frustrated that it feels like life is one hurdle after another. I don't want to be catching up for the rest of my life. I do dream of a bigger house with a yard, but mostly so that I can get my mind off that fact that we can barely pay our mortgage right now.
I know part of the problem is that we're trying to do too much. We're trying to help friends and family financially, and there is simply not enough to go around right now. We've cut out most of the extras, no new clothes, no eating out, no movies, no clubs, no presents, and it still just isn't enough. We're trying to be understading of other people who think they are in a similar position, but we see what their money is spent on, and for us, it's not even an option. And it's frustrating to hear people complain about how broke they are when they are sporting new clothes or whatever.
We're trying to be understanding, we really are. But we are thisclose to losing it all. And the only person who can really understand this is P, because he can see what we are missing.
I can see the silver lining though. We are bonding over our anxiety. We sit and talk about what we'd do if we have a million dollars, and it's a pipe-dream, but it takes us out of the misery of the present. We discuss what is really important to us: do we save for retirement, or for Taryn's school fund? And it's kind of scary that we haven't been this deep on certain issues before, but it always happens at the right time.
And I know it will be okay. Eventually, things will turn up again, I just feel like I can't catch a break right now, and it's depressing. Even when I win, I lose. I am grateful that we are all healthy right now, we have enough food, we have a place to live, we're going to visit family and at least for those few weeks we are gone, we won't have to worry about how far we are from the American Dream.
June 16, 2007
Money Comes, Money's Gone
For the past year, P and I have been dropping loose change into one of two piggy banks for T-Boog. I'd normally empty my purse a couple times a week of singles and silver change, and I'd empty P's pockets nightly of his change too. We also recycled bottles and cans for a couple months, but it was too much work and too messy, so now we just throw them in the big blue bin and let th egarbage folks take care of the recycling part.
I counted up the money today from both biggy banks and was shocked shitless to find out she had over $150 in them. Only about $30 was actual bills, the rest was mostly quarters and dimes.
I'm glad I thought to do this, and what trips me out even more is that The change collected was mostly from the last six months, since I've been back from maternity leave. Because before that, I wasn't contributing much since I paid for everything on my credit cards, and P was off for a while too and wasn't using as much cash.
I'm planning to add another couple hundred dollars to this and open up her college account this week. Then I can start deducting $25 per paycheck to deposit into it, until I get my raise. Yay!
And of course, I spent another $75 on party favors for her birthdy today. That's like $100 just in stuff, no food yet. I think I'll have to bring some back, because this is just craziness. But I'm excited for it, and to finally see all the kiddies all otgether and just hang out like we used to do.
I counted up the money today from both biggy banks and was shocked shitless to find out she had over $150 in them. Only about $30 was actual bills, the rest was mostly quarters and dimes.
I'm glad I thought to do this, and what trips me out even more is that The change collected was mostly from the last six months, since I've been back from maternity leave. Because before that, I wasn't contributing much since I paid for everything on my credit cards, and P was off for a while too and wasn't using as much cash.
I'm planning to add another couple hundred dollars to this and open up her college account this week. Then I can start deducting $25 per paycheck to deposit into it, until I get my raise. Yay!
And of course, I spent another $75 on party favors for her birthdy today. That's like $100 just in stuff, no food yet. I think I'll have to bring some back, because this is just craziness. But I'm excited for it, and to finally see all the kiddies all otgether and just hang out like we used to do.
May 29, 2007
Late in the Day, and Brains all Mush
Not really sure why, but I love to bake. Not the results so much as the process, mixing ingredients, measuring out things, making a goopy mess which turns into a yummy creation.
Normal cooking just doesn't do it for me unles there's a process with it, a glass of wine, someone to talk to, or else I feel like I'm just slaving away for no cause. I do love cooking for T-Boog though, cutting up the veggies and blending them all, letting her taste while she sits in her highchair playing next to me and trying to guess what she thinks from her facial expression.
Maybe it's that people appreciate baked good more than dinner? Maybe dinner and lunch are just taken for granted as necessary, but dessert or fresh-baked bread are appreciated for being novel, in my home at least.
I'm so tired, yawning and I can't work right now because my brain is mushy. I don't want more mistakes, and since my eyes are blurring I think it's a better idea to blog than work on cases. I have been working hard all day, CalWORKs intake, couple of CMSP/FS apps, processing everything that accumulated over the long weekend.
Maybe I'll make cookies for dinner, or brownies. Johana eats cereal everyday anyway, I'm sure she wouldn't care. Maybe some eggs benedict again. You know what made me feel crazy? Watching Running with Scissors. Pretty damn depressing. And crazy. Lots of crazy.
I need to go to Safeway, but I have $7 in my checking account. I have money in savings but I need it for stuff, like T-Boogs birthday, and to get a new windshield.
I don't know when it will end, the hand to mouth. It's sure as shit getting old though, and P keeps looking into buying me an x5. I told him I don't want it, even if he's making the payments. I crash. And his non-moving objects. I don't need to stress off the cost to repair a BMW. I'd like the Volvo though, or the Rav4.
Maybe when the next kid comes.
Normal cooking just doesn't do it for me unles there's a process with it, a glass of wine, someone to talk to, or else I feel like I'm just slaving away for no cause. I do love cooking for T-Boog though, cutting up the veggies and blending them all, letting her taste while she sits in her highchair playing next to me and trying to guess what she thinks from her facial expression.
Maybe it's that people appreciate baked good more than dinner? Maybe dinner and lunch are just taken for granted as necessary, but dessert or fresh-baked bread are appreciated for being novel, in my home at least.
I'm so tired, yawning and I can't work right now because my brain is mushy. I don't want more mistakes, and since my eyes are blurring I think it's a better idea to blog than work on cases. I have been working hard all day, CalWORKs intake, couple of CMSP/FS apps, processing everything that accumulated over the long weekend.
Maybe I'll make cookies for dinner, or brownies. Johana eats cereal everyday anyway, I'm sure she wouldn't care. Maybe some eggs benedict again. You know what made me feel crazy? Watching Running with Scissors. Pretty damn depressing. And crazy. Lots of crazy.
I need to go to Safeway, but I have $7 in my checking account. I have money in savings but I need it for stuff, like T-Boogs birthday, and to get a new windshield.
I don't know when it will end, the hand to mouth. It's sure as shit getting old though, and P keeps looking into buying me an x5. I told him I don't want it, even if he's making the payments. I crash. And his non-moving objects. I don't need to stress off the cost to repair a BMW. I'd like the Volvo though, or the Rav4.
Maybe when the next kid comes.
May 13, 2007
Safeway Flowers and a Card
On Tuesday, please nobody mention to me the fact that my husband is a worthless *bleep*ing loser.
For my first Mother's Day, I get Safeway flowers and a card. This *bleep* has the audacity to stay up until 3am drinking...by himself, then when Taryn starts crying in the morning, he bring her downstairs to write her name in a card for me, and *bleep*ing spells it wrong on the outside. What a monumental failure I have been at picking decent men.
So yay for me. Mother's Day sucks.
I don't even have enough money to go do something nice for myself today. All I can do it take Taryn on a walk, and if I don't calm down soon enough, I may go buy my $400 purse on HIS credit card.
What an *bleep*. He spends hundreds of dollars a month on bars, clubs, playing golf with his friends, and Mother's Day rolls around and he is all of a sudden too broke to get me anything? Too lazy to make me breakfast? Too much of a *blee*-*bleep*ing *bleep* to do anything at all for me?
"Oh but Baby, I made you dinner last night!"
Well *bleep*, I cooked every night this week. It was your turn. And since when are empanadas a special dinner for anything???????
Please, don't get me wrong. It's not the lack of a gift I'm pissed about. It's the lack of giving a *bleep* about my emotional well-being in general that has my panties in a bunch. I *bleep*ing deserve some appreciation for what I do, and the one day set aside for that ... zilch.
The baby starts fussing, and all of a sudden he's a *bleep*ing expert. "Maybe she's cold, whay don't you change her diaper, maybe she doesn't want yogurt for breakfast." SHUT THE *BLEEP* UP. When's the last time you changed her diaper, fed her, or put clothes on her? Don't tell me how to do my *bleep*ing job, Idiot.
I know more about Taryn right now than you will in you entire life, because you don't give a flying *bleep* about anyone but yourself. And for the record, I will be a vindictive *bleep* and return the golf clubs I got you for Father's Day.
Happy *Bleep*ing Mother's Day to me.
For my first Mother's Day, I get Safeway flowers and a card. This *bleep* has the audacity to stay up until 3am drinking...by himself, then when Taryn starts crying in the morning, he bring her downstairs to write her name in a card for me, and *bleep*ing spells it wrong on the outside. What a monumental failure I have been at picking decent men.
So yay for me. Mother's Day sucks.
I don't even have enough money to go do something nice for myself today. All I can do it take Taryn on a walk, and if I don't calm down soon enough, I may go buy my $400 purse on HIS credit card.
What an *bleep*. He spends hundreds of dollars a month on bars, clubs, playing golf with his friends, and Mother's Day rolls around and he is all of a sudden too broke to get me anything? Too lazy to make me breakfast? Too much of a *blee*-*bleep*ing *bleep* to do anything at all for me?
"Oh but Baby, I made you dinner last night!"
Well *bleep*, I cooked every night this week. It was your turn. And since when are empanadas a special dinner for anything???????
Please, don't get me wrong. It's not the lack of a gift I'm pissed about. It's the lack of giving a *bleep* about my emotional well-being in general that has my panties in a bunch. I *bleep*ing deserve some appreciation for what I do, and the one day set aside for that ... zilch.
The baby starts fussing, and all of a sudden he's a *bleep*ing expert. "Maybe she's cold, whay don't you change her diaper, maybe she doesn't want yogurt for breakfast." SHUT THE *BLEEP* UP. When's the last time you changed her diaper, fed her, or put clothes on her? Don't tell me how to do my *bleep*ing job, Idiot.
I know more about Taryn right now than you will in you entire life, because you don't give a flying *bleep* about anyone but yourself. And for the record, I will be a vindictive *bleep* and return the golf clubs I got you for Father's Day.
Happy *Bleep*ing Mother's Day to me.
April 11, 2007
Credit Revolution
I had a dream last night that I was in a bougie store, the kind of place where a summer dress will cost you $350 and nail polish is $24 per bottle. Before they let me in the store, I got the typical eye rolls, sighs of impatience, and flat out questioning if I could afford anything. "Of course not, I just want to look around while I wait for my friend."
I liked the clothes. They were cute, and the purses were adorable too. But even in my dreams I knew I couldn't afford anything there.
I'm one of those people who is firmly planted in reality. I like to dream, but I also know that its destructive to live beyond your means. My mom taught me fiscal responsibility when I was young. If I wanted to buy a big-ticket item, like a walkman or new rollerskates, she would agree to pay for half, and I had to save the other half from my allowance or earn it doing extra chores around the house, before I could buy anything.
I've carried those values into adulthood. When I want to buy something, I save up for it until I have a good portion of the cost, the entire cost if I'm feeling particularly patient, or I put the rest on a credit card after I've worked out my payment plan with myself. I don't use credit cards to delay the inevitable. I use them when I'm in a bind, and pay them off as quickly as possible. I hate carrying balances.
Unlike P.
This guy has no self-restraint. Delayed gratification is not in his vocabulary. I take that back, he can be responsible, but when he sets his eye on something he wants, he figures its better to buy now and pay later so he can enjoy it more. I admire his fanaticiscm, if not his lack of fiducuary wherewithal.
It's hard being young with very little disposable income. I wracked up bills while I was on maternity leave, and three months after going back to work I'm no where near close to paying them off. It was worth it to me though, to stay home with Taryn longer, but it's hard looking at my budget and seeing that I have $150 to last me two weeks, for gas, groceries, diapers... I don't get to go out to eat, or to buy new clothes. I had to downgrade our cell phone service and cancel the HBO.
But it's a choice. I'm choosing to be responsible. I can't afford a new car, as much as I need one, so I'll drive the Mazda into the ground. I can't afford to take Taryn to the Discovery Museum, so I'll take her on hikes and show her the flowers and deer, or to the beach and let her play in the sand and the ocean. I can't afford new clothes, so I'll mix and match what I have in my closet, maybe buy a couple pairs of new shoes to spice up the wardrobe and wait for the after-season sales to get something cute for next year.
And I hope that I can instil in her a sense of the limits of money, how to make it last and how to appreciate the outdoors and not rely on electrical toys for entertainment. I hope that she doesn't get caught up in the credit revolution, that she learns how to delay her gratification and only buy the things she really, really wants, and to the exclusion of less important things. And maybe she'll be a doctor or lawyer and have massive amounts of extra cash to throw around and put me up in a good home with a reliable car, but even then, I hope she can see the value of a dollar and be responsible with her money. Or her partners money.
People think it's weird P and I have separate accounts. We have joint accounts, but my checking is separate from his, and we have our own savings accounts as well. We used to share a credit card, and we do still have one for mutual large purchases, like plane tickets, but when it came time to pay the bill each month and he couldn't pay his part, it irked me. I didn't want to carry balances, and he's okay with that, so we decided to separate our finances to a degree. I pay more in bills each month, but he just pays one lump-sum majority payment for the mortgage. He couldn't handle the details of paying the same 10 bills on time every month, so I took over those.
When he wants to buy something dumb (I mean, for himself) he puts it on his credit card. And yes, it ends up that I end up paying for everything for the house, and he puts all his money towards paying off his separate debt, but whatever. I'm not going to be petty about it because it's not exactly his fault that he isn't responsible. I'm sure coming from absolutely nothing to the ability to buy whatever he wants is overwhelming, and not having had the early experience in managing income, it's a hard skill to learn as an adult.
All I'm saying is, I'm damn grateful to be as money-saavy as I am. And I'm trying to get some of that to rub off on P and Taryn. I've got more hope for the latter.
I liked the clothes. They were cute, and the purses were adorable too. But even in my dreams I knew I couldn't afford anything there.
I'm one of those people who is firmly planted in reality. I like to dream, but I also know that its destructive to live beyond your means. My mom taught me fiscal responsibility when I was young. If I wanted to buy a big-ticket item, like a walkman or new rollerskates, she would agree to pay for half, and I had to save the other half from my allowance or earn it doing extra chores around the house, before I could buy anything.
I've carried those values into adulthood. When I want to buy something, I save up for it until I have a good portion of the cost, the entire cost if I'm feeling particularly patient, or I put the rest on a credit card after I've worked out my payment plan with myself. I don't use credit cards to delay the inevitable. I use them when I'm in a bind, and pay them off as quickly as possible. I hate carrying balances.
Unlike P.
This guy has no self-restraint. Delayed gratification is not in his vocabulary. I take that back, he can be responsible, but when he sets his eye on something he wants, he figures its better to buy now and pay later so he can enjoy it more. I admire his fanaticiscm, if not his lack of fiducuary wherewithal.
It's hard being young with very little disposable income. I wracked up bills while I was on maternity leave, and three months after going back to work I'm no where near close to paying them off. It was worth it to me though, to stay home with Taryn longer, but it's hard looking at my budget and seeing that I have $150 to last me two weeks, for gas, groceries, diapers... I don't get to go out to eat, or to buy new clothes. I had to downgrade our cell phone service and cancel the HBO.
But it's a choice. I'm choosing to be responsible. I can't afford a new car, as much as I need one, so I'll drive the Mazda into the ground. I can't afford to take Taryn to the Discovery Museum, so I'll take her on hikes and show her the flowers and deer, or to the beach and let her play in the sand and the ocean. I can't afford new clothes, so I'll mix and match what I have in my closet, maybe buy a couple pairs of new shoes to spice up the wardrobe and wait for the after-season sales to get something cute for next year.
And I hope that I can instil in her a sense of the limits of money, how to make it last and how to appreciate the outdoors and not rely on electrical toys for entertainment. I hope that she doesn't get caught up in the credit revolution, that she learns how to delay her gratification and only buy the things she really, really wants, and to the exclusion of less important things. And maybe she'll be a doctor or lawyer and have massive amounts of extra cash to throw around and put me up in a good home with a reliable car, but even then, I hope she can see the value of a dollar and be responsible with her money. Or her partners money.
People think it's weird P and I have separate accounts. We have joint accounts, but my checking is separate from his, and we have our own savings accounts as well. We used to share a credit card, and we do still have one for mutual large purchases, like plane tickets, but when it came time to pay the bill each month and he couldn't pay his part, it irked me. I didn't want to carry balances, and he's okay with that, so we decided to separate our finances to a degree. I pay more in bills each month, but he just pays one lump-sum majority payment for the mortgage. He couldn't handle the details of paying the same 10 bills on time every month, so I took over those.
When he wants to buy something dumb (I mean, for himself) he puts it on his credit card. And yes, it ends up that I end up paying for everything for the house, and he puts all his money towards paying off his separate debt, but whatever. I'm not going to be petty about it because it's not exactly his fault that he isn't responsible. I'm sure coming from absolutely nothing to the ability to buy whatever he wants is overwhelming, and not having had the early experience in managing income, it's a hard skill to learn as an adult.
All I'm saying is, I'm damn grateful to be as money-saavy as I am. And I'm trying to get some of that to rub off on P and Taryn. I've got more hope for the latter.
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