Holy Smokes Batman, you are just about 3 years old! When people ask me now how old you are, I'm stumbling between 'two' and 'almost three.' It's not that I want you to be older any sooner, but to say two when you can hold a conversation with an adult, or kid, or dog, flower, computer screen.... it just doesn't do the extent of your development justice. But you aren't three yet, and I want to savor this beautiful time when I am still the center of your world.
When Papa wakes you up in the morning, you two go downstairs and exercise. He bought some video that he wants to get fit to, and since you two are up an hour earlier than the baby and I (for now) it's wonderful to see you two spending time together. And it's nice to sleep in too. I just bought a tumbling mat too, and you are having a great time exercising on it, jumping from color block to color block, and tomorrow, I'm sure, you'll realize you can do your gymnastics rolls on it, and I'll have to move your sister out of the way so you can stretch your gangly little limbs out.
Since I am going back to work in less than a month, we've been looking at a lot of day cares for you and your sister. I'm satisfied with the arrangement of your Nana, Papa and I each having you guys for a day each week, and you having two days away. It's going to break my heart to see someone else spending so much time with you, but I know you will thrive with the social interactions with your peers (and hopefully start on the potty training as well) and you two will be together. Plus, I'll still be able to see you guys at lunch each day, at least for a while. It is so hard to feel like I have no choice-again-but to go back to work. So my wish for you is that you have a choice to work or stay home if you decide to have children. Some people love their careers, some people love their lifestyles, I just wish I could work part-time and be home as much as possible while you two are young, but I know God has a plan and this is what is supposed to happen right now.
You and Jackson had a fun day riding horses a couple weeks back and whenever I mention him or Ms Ally, you go off on this tangent about the horses and the pig and everything we did that day and I'm realizing more and more it's the little things with you. Some kids may want a huge production, but you just want something different from everyday life. I promise that when your sister is a bit bigger, we're going to go on all those adventures I dreamed about when I was pregnant with you. We're going to travel, and go on road trips, and camping and fishing and see the snow. I promise to introduce you to every new type of food I can imagine and take you to Mexico to eat real tortas, and to New York so I can see it for the first time with you. We'll gaze at the Grand Canyon, hike through Yosemite, and search for bears at Yellow Stone. I promise that no matter what else happens in life I will always be there for you. I will never leave you, I will always be your biggest fan, and I will go to the ends of the universe and back, or just flag down the ice cream truck on a sweltering summer day, all just to see your smile.
I love you Angel,
Mama (Mom)
April 20, 2009
April 2, 2009
Month Four
Chunko, a few days ago I had the option of either putting together your brand spanking new crib or writing your letter on time. Obviously, I chose the crib. My bedroom is still torn apart because I haven't had the opportunity to put everything back after rearranging my life (it feels) to give you your own space, but it has been wonderful having you so close, yet not having to worry about rolling over and smooshing you. I hate to say it, but the only reason you got a new crib was that the used one we had bought for your sister was recalled, and I got sick of the 'natural' wood color of all the furniture in the room and went for white instead. We'll see if it stays white... we're planning to have you and Taryn share a full sized bed for a while after you grow out of the crib, and your bed is convertible so you'll be in it for a while.
You still don't sleep long by yourself, but I'm finally able to lay you down in the crib, turn on the vibrate and pat your tummy for a few minutes until you fall asleep. We've been looking at daycare places for you two this past week, and hopefully you'll be able to sleep better there than you do here. If not, at least I hope we don't have to pay extra. I'm so bummed to have to leave you guys, but I have no choice. The economy is crap (I'm sure you'll learn just how bad it got when you get to high school) and we can't risk me staying home and Papa losing his job at the bank. But, you'll have it better in some ways than your sister, since Nana will watch you one day, Papa will have you one day and I'll be home one day each week.
So Chunko, the mantra in the house right now is 'Roll Chunko, Roll!" You rolled for the first time a few weeks ago, but only back to front. When we do tummy time you can totally lift up your head, but most of the time you just lay it down and watch what is going on in the room. And even though you've been laughing for a few months now, your belly laugh now is the greatest. People stop and look when we are out in public and you start your laughing, then can't believe such a small baby laughs so heartily. Your 4-month appointment is on Monday, but we're guessing you're probably close to 15lbs and 26 inches which is bigger than your sister, but not by a whole lot, although you seem like a much bigger child.
We've met a lot of other moms with kids your age, and you are by far the loudest, most talking-est one of all, and my wish for you this month is that you stay a social and engaging person throughout your life. I've struggled with shyness that destroyed my sense or self in a way it's hard to explain and I just hope you never have to. And your sister.... she used to be scared of a fly's shadow but now will strike up a conversation with any person on the street she sees. I see you so far ahead of us both, and hope you stay there in terms of comfort in your own skin.
Well my Love, Papa just got you out of the bath, so it's time for milk, swaddle and sweet, deep sleep. I love you my Angel, I love you so much more than I imagined was possible, and I will keep loving you more and more each day until if feels like my heart will explode... then I'll just keep in loving.
I love you,
Mama
You still don't sleep long by yourself, but I'm finally able to lay you down in the crib, turn on the vibrate and pat your tummy for a few minutes until you fall asleep. We've been looking at daycare places for you two this past week, and hopefully you'll be able to sleep better there than you do here. If not, at least I hope we don't have to pay extra. I'm so bummed to have to leave you guys, but I have no choice. The economy is crap (I'm sure you'll learn just how bad it got when you get to high school) and we can't risk me staying home and Papa losing his job at the bank. But, you'll have it better in some ways than your sister, since Nana will watch you one day, Papa will have you one day and I'll be home one day each week.
So Chunko, the mantra in the house right now is 'Roll Chunko, Roll!" You rolled for the first time a few weeks ago, but only back to front. When we do tummy time you can totally lift up your head, but most of the time you just lay it down and watch what is going on in the room. And even though you've been laughing for a few months now, your belly laugh now is the greatest. People stop and look when we are out in public and you start your laughing, then can't believe such a small baby laughs so heartily. Your 4-month appointment is on Monday, but we're guessing you're probably close to 15lbs and 26 inches which is bigger than your sister, but not by a whole lot, although you seem like a much bigger child.
We've met a lot of other moms with kids your age, and you are by far the loudest, most talking-est one of all, and my wish for you this month is that you stay a social and engaging person throughout your life. I've struggled with shyness that destroyed my sense or self in a way it's hard to explain and I just hope you never have to. And your sister.... she used to be scared of a fly's shadow but now will strike up a conversation with any person on the street she sees. I see you so far ahead of us both, and hope you stay there in terms of comfort in your own skin.
Well my Love, Papa just got you out of the bath, so it's time for milk, swaddle and sweet, deep sleep. I love you my Angel, I love you so much more than I imagined was possible, and I will keep loving you more and more each day until if feels like my heart will explode... then I'll just keep in loving.
I love you,
Mama
March 21, 2009
Spoke Too Soon
This morning:
Me: Dang! Zoraya's diaper leaked on the bed.
Boogie: Fucking baby.
I guess she did pick it up. Though I have to admit, I never said 'fucking baby' in front of her. I dropped the F-bomb in a conversation about two balloons that I received while in the hospital with Gorilita that I'm dying to get rid of, but am too attached to. I said the 'f-ing balloons' and she repeated 'f-ing bombs' for some reason, but hadn't said it since. Ooops.
Me: Dang! Zoraya's diaper leaked on the bed.
Boogie: Fucking baby.
I guess she did pick it up. Though I have to admit, I never said 'fucking baby' in front of her. I dropped the F-bomb in a conversation about two balloons that I received while in the hospital with Gorilita that I'm dying to get rid of, but am too attached to. I said the 'f-ing balloons' and she repeated 'f-ing bombs' for some reason, but hadn't said it since. Ooops.
March 20, 2009
Month Thirty-Three
Hello Darling Girl,
You're just a trimester short of your third birthday, but you are acting like you're four times as old. I think you may have even rolled you eyes at me the other day, but I can't be sure. You've taken to responding to every question with "huh?" Which Granny says you get from your Papa, and even your facial expression mimics him when you say it. Irritating? Yes. But irresistibly cute as well. We were driving up to Petaluma for your Tia Elba's birthday last week and you started talking about getting married for some reason. You told Papa and I you wanted to marry him, and he couldn't be my husband anymore. I have no idea where it came from, maybe because I call him 'husband' when I am angry, so I asked you again today who you wanted to marry, and you said Jack-Jack. You also asked if you could marry him today and said how fun it would be.
By far the most interesting thing that happened this month was you starting preschool. You are such a champ. No tears or prolonged goodbyes. You are so into other kids, and your teachers say that you share very well, something a lot of the other kids don't do yet. Every time we leave the house to go, you are so excited, talking about seeing your new friends and saying hi to your teachers, and when I go back to pick you up you are always so chipper, telling me about your art project for the day and the new toys you played with and singing the songs (with hand motions) that I don't know but love hearing you sing. My wish for you this month Angel, is that you continue to thrive in school and love learning as much as I do. I can totally see this is one of your elements, and I think we picked a perfect time to start you. I know you will do awesomely learning and exploring and creating, and I hope you never lose the wonder you feel now at new educational experiences.
We haven't done much in the way of going places. The weather has been shockingly beautiful this month, very little rain and 75 degrees in March is not something to be wasted, so we've been going on lots of walks and spending lots of time at the park. One of the things that continues to amaze me about you is that you are so sensitive, but so low-key. When I tell you it's time to leave the park without any notice and your sister is screaming on my shoulder, you are so compliant, never throwing a fit or begging to stay.
And most days the three of us end up in the rocking chair together while I am trying to get you to sleep, and you are just so understanding of your sister. Even today she grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked it, and you calmly asked me to take her hand off your head, then you looked at it. And when you saw she had pulled out a piece of your hair, you unwound it from her fat little finger and put it back on the top of your head. :)
You are only 2, but when people hear you talk they always ask if you are older. You have actual conversations with people, and it is getting much easier to understand you because your vocabulary is continuing to expand at a crazy-fast rate. And em, you're repeated a few swear words I said, but only that one time. I'm sure you'll bust them out at the most inopportune time (and use them appropriately to boot) but for now I'll trick myself into thinking you forgot them. You and I talk all day long, about nature and people and cars and buildings, read stories and talk about what's happening on the pages, and we've even had conversations about God. You are simply amazing.
And as I say every month and think to myself a hundred times per day, you are such as special kid, I am so blessed to have you in my life. And I love you more than I ever thought possible.
Love,
Mama
You're just a trimester short of your third birthday, but you are acting like you're four times as old. I think you may have even rolled you eyes at me the other day, but I can't be sure. You've taken to responding to every question with "huh?" Which Granny says you get from your Papa, and even your facial expression mimics him when you say it. Irritating? Yes. But irresistibly cute as well. We were driving up to Petaluma for your Tia Elba's birthday last week and you started talking about getting married for some reason. You told Papa and I you wanted to marry him, and he couldn't be my husband anymore. I have no idea where it came from, maybe because I call him 'husband' when I am angry, so I asked you again today who you wanted to marry, and you said Jack-Jack. You also asked if you could marry him today and said how fun it would be.
By far the most interesting thing that happened this month was you starting preschool. You are such a champ. No tears or prolonged goodbyes. You are so into other kids, and your teachers say that you share very well, something a lot of the other kids don't do yet. Every time we leave the house to go, you are so excited, talking about seeing your new friends and saying hi to your teachers, and when I go back to pick you up you are always so chipper, telling me about your art project for the day and the new toys you played with and singing the songs (with hand motions) that I don't know but love hearing you sing. My wish for you this month Angel, is that you continue to thrive in school and love learning as much as I do. I can totally see this is one of your elements, and I think we picked a perfect time to start you. I know you will do awesomely learning and exploring and creating, and I hope you never lose the wonder you feel now at new educational experiences.
We haven't done much in the way of going places. The weather has been shockingly beautiful this month, very little rain and 75 degrees in March is not something to be wasted, so we've been going on lots of walks and spending lots of time at the park. One of the things that continues to amaze me about you is that you are so sensitive, but so low-key. When I tell you it's time to leave the park without any notice and your sister is screaming on my shoulder, you are so compliant, never throwing a fit or begging to stay.
And most days the three of us end up in the rocking chair together while I am trying to get you to sleep, and you are just so understanding of your sister. Even today she grabbed a handful of your hair and yanked it, and you calmly asked me to take her hand off your head, then you looked at it. And when you saw she had pulled out a piece of your hair, you unwound it from her fat little finger and put it back on the top of your head. :)
You are only 2, but when people hear you talk they always ask if you are older. You have actual conversations with people, and it is getting much easier to understand you because your vocabulary is continuing to expand at a crazy-fast rate. And em, you're repeated a few swear words I said, but only that one time. I'm sure you'll bust them out at the most inopportune time (and use them appropriately to boot) but for now I'll trick myself into thinking you forgot them. You and I talk all day long, about nature and people and cars and buildings, read stories and talk about what's happening on the pages, and we've even had conversations about God. You are simply amazing.
And as I say every month and think to myself a hundred times per day, you are such as special kid, I am so blessed to have you in my life. And I love you more than I ever thought possible.
Love,
Mama
March 5, 2009
First Week of Preschool
Boogie is a real preschooler now! She started this week and went two days, and loved it. I was worried at first that she would be super shy and not talk to anyone, but the first day we showed up I only hung around for about 5 minutes, and she was fine. She was the only girl playing cars with the boys, ans when I came back to pick her up, the teacher's assistant told me that she didn't shed a tear, and was holding her own against a bigger buy who was trying to take her toys away from her. She even painted me a picture!
Today was her second day, and when I dropped her off the TA said she was so impressed by how confident Boogie is, that some kids that have been in the preschool since the Fall still barely talk to the other kids and cry when their parents leave. I had to do a double take to make sure she was talking about my Boogie. I am so happy that she is thriving and loving it. She is non-stop chatter in the car talking about her new friends and playing with the toys. She made a necklace today but ended up eating all the Cheerios off it before I could see. Typical Taryn.
Anyway, I'm so excited to see her thrive in yet another situation. And I sort of dig the two hours I got to spend alone this week, drinking a coffee, listening to my ipod and reading a book.
Today was her second day, and when I dropped her off the TA said she was so impressed by how confident Boogie is, that some kids that have been in the preschool since the Fall still barely talk to the other kids and cry when their parents leave. I had to do a double take to make sure she was talking about my Boogie. I am so happy that she is thriving and loving it. She is non-stop chatter in the car talking about her new friends and playing with the toys. She made a necklace today but ended up eating all the Cheerios off it before I could see. Typical Taryn.
Anyway, I'm so excited to see her thrive in yet another situation. And I sort of dig the two hours I got to spend alone this week, drinking a coffee, listening to my ipod and reading a book.
March 1, 2009
Month Three
Hey Babydoll,
We've hit the end of the first quarter, and I just have to say, I'm not late because if February had enough days, today would be the 29th. I have a feeling I'll be pointing that out every year.
You have blossomed into such a charming young thing this month. You were already smiling when we went into it, but now you'll smile at perfect strangers and people just can't get enough of your dimple and your laugh. It still sort of sounds like you are coughing, but you'll also blow raspberries while you're smiling, or blow spit-bubbles while you do the goo-goo thing. Your favorite person is Boogie, or course, and just seeing her across the room makes your face light up. But you are also fascinated by the fan, and staring at it (and stopping crying to stare harder) must be a trick you picked up from Jaden.
Oh, but the raspberries are so cute, and you do it when you are falling asleep too, and start blowing spit bubbles when you get too tired, so that no matter where we put you, there is a drool spot on your jammies right under your neck. Actually, you drool a lot more than I expected. I asked the doc if you could be teething, but he said no, so I guess you just salivate a lot. When we hold you with your belly on our forearms, the little crook on the inside of our elbows always end up dripping wet.
Okay, so you aren't a huge fan of tummy-time, and it's probably my fault because we don't do it much. I'd rather put you propped up on the boppy pillow in front of a mirror so that you blow raspberries to that cute stranger who is staring at you. You can already bear weight on your legs, and I'm terrified you'll be walking before your sister. Even 11 months was not long enough for her to take a first step, and I'm sure she'll be right there egging you on to start even earlier. But you can stand when we hold your hands, you can hold you head up and steady, and you can do little baby push-ups, though sometimes I think your head weighs too much because your legs kick around in the air when you do it, like you're trying to get some traction but your body is an off-balance see-saw.
We've been out and about more, and you're actually starting to not hate the car so much. For a while there you just screamed the whole time you were in your car seat, but now I have a good 10 minutes before you start, and you fall asleep pretty quickly. I think developmentally you're getting used to this big, cold, loud world, because you're taking a binkie too, and your sleep is getting much more regular. You are a very even-tempered child, easy to figure out what's wrong most of the time, and the only time you get super-agitated is when you want to sleep, and I've figured out that for the most part either popping you in the sling or taking you outside will knock you out.
Sleep has been wonderful for us both lately, your 5-6 hour stretch makes me the happiest mom on the block, and you wake up ready to play. My wish for you this month Sweetpea, is that you keep the knowledge of what recharges you, whether its being out in nature or listening to music, and you make sure that you always take time for yourself no matter what. I'm still learning the long, hard lesson that I can't take care of anyone unless I'm taking care of myself first, and I hope you can sidestep the suffering it took me to learn that, and be a self-care pro.
I don't even want to sit up here writing this, because I know you are downstairs waiting for me, so I'll end for now and just remind you that I am so blessed to have you in my life.
I love you,
Mama
We've hit the end of the first quarter, and I just have to say, I'm not late because if February had enough days, today would be the 29th. I have a feeling I'll be pointing that out every year.
You have blossomed into such a charming young thing this month. You were already smiling when we went into it, but now you'll smile at perfect strangers and people just can't get enough of your dimple and your laugh. It still sort of sounds like you are coughing, but you'll also blow raspberries while you're smiling, or blow spit-bubbles while you do the goo-goo thing. Your favorite person is Boogie, or course, and just seeing her across the room makes your face light up. But you are also fascinated by the fan, and staring at it (and stopping crying to stare harder) must be a trick you picked up from Jaden.
Oh, but the raspberries are so cute, and you do it when you are falling asleep too, and start blowing spit bubbles when you get too tired, so that no matter where we put you, there is a drool spot on your jammies right under your neck. Actually, you drool a lot more than I expected. I asked the doc if you could be teething, but he said no, so I guess you just salivate a lot. When we hold you with your belly on our forearms, the little crook on the inside of our elbows always end up dripping wet.
Okay, so you aren't a huge fan of tummy-time, and it's probably my fault because we don't do it much. I'd rather put you propped up on the boppy pillow in front of a mirror so that you blow raspberries to that cute stranger who is staring at you. You can already bear weight on your legs, and I'm terrified you'll be walking before your sister. Even 11 months was not long enough for her to take a first step, and I'm sure she'll be right there egging you on to start even earlier. But you can stand when we hold your hands, you can hold you head up and steady, and you can do little baby push-ups, though sometimes I think your head weighs too much because your legs kick around in the air when you do it, like you're trying to get some traction but your body is an off-balance see-saw.
We've been out and about more, and you're actually starting to not hate the car so much. For a while there you just screamed the whole time you were in your car seat, but now I have a good 10 minutes before you start, and you fall asleep pretty quickly. I think developmentally you're getting used to this big, cold, loud world, because you're taking a binkie too, and your sleep is getting much more regular. You are a very even-tempered child, easy to figure out what's wrong most of the time, and the only time you get super-agitated is when you want to sleep, and I've figured out that for the most part either popping you in the sling or taking you outside will knock you out.
Sleep has been wonderful for us both lately, your 5-6 hour stretch makes me the happiest mom on the block, and you wake up ready to play. My wish for you this month Sweetpea, is that you keep the knowledge of what recharges you, whether its being out in nature or listening to music, and you make sure that you always take time for yourself no matter what. I'm still learning the long, hard lesson that I can't take care of anyone unless I'm taking care of myself first, and I hope you can sidestep the suffering it took me to learn that, and be a self-care pro.
I don't even want to sit up here writing this, because I know you are downstairs waiting for me, so I'll end for now and just remind you that I am so blessed to have you in my life.
I love you,
Mama
February 20, 2009
Month Thirty-Two
Hey Baby-doll,
This is the first time in months I've gotten your letter started on time, woot! I almost didn't because I need to get this adorable picture of you up on this blog. You've been big into picking out your own clothes lately, and you have a very developed sense of style. I don't know if it's because I always wear layer, or because it's cold outside and sweaters just aren't as cute, but you have been layering tees, tank tops and turtlenecks, and it freaking matches! Who would have thought that a rainbow striped tee, green shirt and gray tank would look good together? Anyway, tonight you wanted to put your own pjs on, and when I went into Granny;s room to get you to read books and go to sleep, you had put on one of Baby Z's pants, your pj top and your sister's beanie as well. You looked like one of those little boys from the 1920's with the short pants on, but it was so cute.
You've also been attached at the hip to Elmo for a while now, as attached as you are to anything, really. Which only means that although you prefer to sleep with him, and have him in the bathroom each night, you'll take a replacement Elmo when we can't find the big one, and you are perfectly content with him sitting on the laundry basket, rather than being in the bath with you. You asked to have him swaddled every night before bed, and I did for a while until you woke up two nights in a row crying that you couldn't get the swaddle tight again. So I told you Elmo was sick and didn't want a swaddle, he wanted to snuggle under the blankets with you, and you accepted that with no question.
I think Elmo has been great for you this month, because you're treating him like your child, and the slight jealously you'd shown about your sister is absolutely gone. Now when I sit on the couch to nurse her, you will sit in your rocker to nurse him. You put diapers on him, and change him over and over, exclaiming (like Mama) about how much poop or pee he's got. And though I shouldn't admit it, I use Elmo to distract you about 10 times per day. When you are under my feet while I'm making breakfast, I'll tell you that Elmo is crying for his mommy and send you out to find a toy to play with him. Or when you are stalling getting your shoes on to leave the house, Elmo is usually all ready to go and waiting just for you. You're adorable, because whatever Elmo wants, Elmo gets. :)
This month has been crazy busy for us. Granny is here, has been here for about 3 weeks, and you follow her like a shadow all day long. When she comes down in the morning, you tell her 'Good Morning everybody' and she is the last person you kiss at night. She was the one who helped you make your first batch of Valentine sugar cookies with sprinkles and showed you how to cut out the shapes with cookie cutters. After your bath while Papa and I are calming the baby so I can read your books and put you to sleep, you sneak into Granny's room and get under the covers with her, watching TV until I am ready for you. And though you didn't want to be alone with her at first, now when I need to run to the store quickly, you are perfectly content to stay home with her and your sister. Granny has been amazing to have here, she's taken care of so much cooking and cleaning that I've really been able to spend a lot of time with you, and I know I am less stressed and better able to respond to your 'terrible twos' that if I was doing this all by myself.
My wish for you this month is that you learn patience by example, and the vital fact that you will lose it sometimes, and you will have to apologize. There is very little you cannot fix by saying you are sorry-and meaning it-and it is okay to express your anger and frustration as long as it is not meant to hurt anyone and done in a constructive manner. And by all means ask for help when you need it. I'm still working on that one.
Next week you start gymnastics again, which I know you will love, and the week after you will be in preschool, so next month's letter should be packed and quite easy to write. Sweetpea, you continue to amaze me by how much you are blossoming and becoming such a fun, cool kid. You've had so many play dates this month, and when I ask who your friends are you list all you buddies, their sibling, and their parents. Never one to discriminate, you also want them all at out house, all together, all the time. And you want to make them cookies. Every day.
I love you,
Mama
This is the first time in months I've gotten your letter started on time, woot! I almost didn't because I need to get this adorable picture of you up on this blog. You've been big into picking out your own clothes lately, and you have a very developed sense of style. I don't know if it's because I always wear layer, or because it's cold outside and sweaters just aren't as cute, but you have been layering tees, tank tops and turtlenecks, and it freaking matches! Who would have thought that a rainbow striped tee, green shirt and gray tank would look good together? Anyway, tonight you wanted to put your own pjs on, and when I went into Granny;s room to get you to read books and go to sleep, you had put on one of Baby Z's pants, your pj top and your sister's beanie as well. You looked like one of those little boys from the 1920's with the short pants on, but it was so cute.
You've also been attached at the hip to Elmo for a while now, as attached as you are to anything, really. Which only means that although you prefer to sleep with him, and have him in the bathroom each night, you'll take a replacement Elmo when we can't find the big one, and you are perfectly content with him sitting on the laundry basket, rather than being in the bath with you. You asked to have him swaddled every night before bed, and I did for a while until you woke up two nights in a row crying that you couldn't get the swaddle tight again. So I told you Elmo was sick and didn't want a swaddle, he wanted to snuggle under the blankets with you, and you accepted that with no question.
I think Elmo has been great for you this month, because you're treating him like your child, and the slight jealously you'd shown about your sister is absolutely gone. Now when I sit on the couch to nurse her, you will sit in your rocker to nurse him. You put diapers on him, and change him over and over, exclaiming (like Mama) about how much poop or pee he's got. And though I shouldn't admit it, I use Elmo to distract you about 10 times per day. When you are under my feet while I'm making breakfast, I'll tell you that Elmo is crying for his mommy and send you out to find a toy to play with him. Or when you are stalling getting your shoes on to leave the house, Elmo is usually all ready to go and waiting just for you. You're adorable, because whatever Elmo wants, Elmo gets. :)
This month has been crazy busy for us. Granny is here, has been here for about 3 weeks, and you follow her like a shadow all day long. When she comes down in the morning, you tell her 'Good Morning everybody' and she is the last person you kiss at night. She was the one who helped you make your first batch of Valentine sugar cookies with sprinkles and showed you how to cut out the shapes with cookie cutters. After your bath while Papa and I are calming the baby so I can read your books and put you to sleep, you sneak into Granny's room and get under the covers with her, watching TV until I am ready for you. And though you didn't want to be alone with her at first, now when I need to run to the store quickly, you are perfectly content to stay home with her and your sister. Granny has been amazing to have here, she's taken care of so much cooking and cleaning that I've really been able to spend a lot of time with you, and I know I am less stressed and better able to respond to your 'terrible twos' that if I was doing this all by myself.
My wish for you this month is that you learn patience by example, and the vital fact that you will lose it sometimes, and you will have to apologize. There is very little you cannot fix by saying you are sorry-and meaning it-and it is okay to express your anger and frustration as long as it is not meant to hurt anyone and done in a constructive manner. And by all means ask for help when you need it. I'm still working on that one.
Next week you start gymnastics again, which I know you will love, and the week after you will be in preschool, so next month's letter should be packed and quite easy to write. Sweetpea, you continue to amaze me by how much you are blossoming and becoming such a fun, cool kid. You've had so many play dates this month, and when I ask who your friends are you list all you buddies, their sibling, and their parents. Never one to discriminate, you also want them all at out house, all together, all the time. And you want to make them cookies. Every day.
I love you,
Mama
February 17, 2009
The First Day of the Rest of my Life
It's 6:30am, and I just woke up from a nice 8 hour sleep. And no, P was not up with the baby last night. She actually slept 8 hours on her own, and may have slept longer if I hadn't of freaked out this morning when I realized what time it was and woke her up. Ooops.
Also, Gorilita has been taking her binkie for the past couple days, so hope is on the way.
Last but not least, I started her baby book as well! I haven't started Boogie's yet, and really all I did was put her hand and foot prints in, and tape her picture from right after she was born, but it's a start.
Also, Gorilita has been taking her binkie for the past couple days, so hope is on the way.
Last but not least, I started her baby book as well! I haven't started Boogie's yet, and really all I did was put her hand and foot prints in, and tape her picture from right after she was born, but it's a start.
February 13, 2009
Got Your Nose
Oy, my apologies to anyone who cares. It's been a few weeks and nary a peep from this blog. Not that life has been slow, but my only opportunity to blog is when Boogie and Gorilita are both asleep (which coincides with my nap as well... which hasn't happened in a few days) and that short period of time between when I put Boogie to sleep for the night, and when P realizes I'm not longer occupied and brings me Gorilita.
Which is now.
So quick like, I wanted to say that the game "Got Your Nose" was a dismal failure in my house. I don't know what possessed me to steal Boogie's nose, I thought she would find it amusing and assumed she was way to smart to believe it, but... nope. I took her nose and put it in my pocket. I had a rolled up tissue in the pocket and told her to feel her nose, which she did, and proceeded to freak the f*ck out.
Seriously. She started screaming and writhing on the ground, wailing that she wanted her nose back, begging me to put it back on her face. So I took it out of my pocket and put it back on her face. The end?
No. She asked me to take it again and put it on the shelf. So I did.
And she freaked out again.
And of course later that night she asked me to take it again and got upset when I said no, but when I took her nose off again and put it under the blanket, she freaked yet again.
I'm so confused.
(And I can hear him coming up the stairs. Right on cue.)
Which is now.
So quick like, I wanted to say that the game "Got Your Nose" was a dismal failure in my house. I don't know what possessed me to steal Boogie's nose, I thought she would find it amusing and assumed she was way to smart to believe it, but... nope. I took her nose and put it in my pocket. I had a rolled up tissue in the pocket and told her to feel her nose, which she did, and proceeded to freak the f*ck out.
Seriously. She started screaming and writhing on the ground, wailing that she wanted her nose back, begging me to put it back on her face. So I took it out of my pocket and put it back on her face. The end?
No. She asked me to take it again and put it on the shelf. So I did.
And she freaked out again.
And of course later that night she asked me to take it again and got upset when I said no, but when I took her nose off again and put it under the blanket, she freaked yet again.
I'm so confused.
(And I can hear him coming up the stairs. Right on cue.)
January 29, 2009
Month Two
Happy Second Month Milestone Dimples!
You really do have the most adorable dimple on one cheek. You have one on the other side too, but it is just a tiny tease of a dimple. The one on the left side is big enough to stick a cookie in, and when you smile, and my goodness you are quick to smile, it just caves into your chunky round little cheeks. You've been smiling at Taryn for almost a month, and at me for about 3 weeks. Your whole face lights up, and you start cooing and giggling. Any rough days we've been through just disappear when you smile at me and I feel like the world is at our fingertips.
You've also started grabbing at toys, my hair, pretty much anything within reach, but have no interest in the dogs or the cat. Which is probably good, you all will have years together to torment each other. You have been an amazing sick patient, catching your first cold from Papa with sniffles, coughing and these little sneezes that remind me of the pet rats I had when I was a kid. Just a tiny little sound, but snot comes flying out your nose and promptly gets sucked back up. Ooops. But since you've been sick the past 3 days, you've transitioned back into your crib at night and for naps, and you're sleeping 3-4 hour stretches so I feel so energized in the morning and ready to tackle the task or entertaining you and your sister.
We've been lucky for the past week that Granny has been staying with us. Your Nana's mom is a wonderful person, and I hope she is around here long enough for you two to really spend some time together. She has been a God-send, cleaning the house so I can focus on spending time with you girls, and sharing her vast wealth of knowledge with your Papa and I. It is lovely to see you two together, and though you prefer for me over anyone else to soothe you, Granny has become quite good at walking you around the house to keep you occupied while I put your sister down for a nap or get ready for the day. You guys make each other smile, and with the past few years Granny has had, I think you are helping her to enjoy small pockets of life again. My wish for you this month is for me also, because I hope and pray that when you have kids I will be around to help you with them, and that your Nana will be here as well to spend time with any you choose to care for. It makes an incredible difference in life and love to have time to focus on what matters, instead of the monotonous daily chores to cross off the list.
Kid, I dropped you on your head yesterday. I've got a bruise on my butt the size of a plum, so I took most of the force, but as I was bouncing you on the exercise ball to help you sleep, it exploded and I crashed to the floor. I mostly caught you, but the momentum of the fall caused you to bounce off my lap and bump your head on the deflated rubber ball, and the hard floor beneath it. You're fine, though my hands were shaking I was so scared your collarbone snapped again or something, and you screamed bloody murder for about 30 minutes non-stop. I was pacing the block out in the sun, in my socks, trying to calm you down, and though you were inconsolable for that time, you showed no ill effects from the fall. Unlike my derriere. It was the first time your head hit the floor, but surely not your last.
All in all, it's been a mellow month. Yes, there are problems in the house, but I'm confident that you won't remember them, and I don't want to give them power by putting them out in the universe. I hope you know that no matter what happens to this family, you are loved, you will always be loved and treasured, and nothing will ever change that. You have my heart, Gorilita.
I love you.
Mama
You really do have the most adorable dimple on one cheek. You have one on the other side too, but it is just a tiny tease of a dimple. The one on the left side is big enough to stick a cookie in, and when you smile, and my goodness you are quick to smile, it just caves into your chunky round little cheeks. You've been smiling at Taryn for almost a month, and at me for about 3 weeks. Your whole face lights up, and you start cooing and giggling. Any rough days we've been through just disappear when you smile at me and I feel like the world is at our fingertips.
You've also started grabbing at toys, my hair, pretty much anything within reach, but have no interest in the dogs or the cat. Which is probably good, you all will have years together to torment each other. You have been an amazing sick patient, catching your first cold from Papa with sniffles, coughing and these little sneezes that remind me of the pet rats I had when I was a kid. Just a tiny little sound, but snot comes flying out your nose and promptly gets sucked back up. Ooops. But since you've been sick the past 3 days, you've transitioned back into your crib at night and for naps, and you're sleeping 3-4 hour stretches so I feel so energized in the morning and ready to tackle the task or entertaining you and your sister.
We've been lucky for the past week that Granny has been staying with us. Your Nana's mom is a wonderful person, and I hope she is around here long enough for you two to really spend some time together. She has been a God-send, cleaning the house so I can focus on spending time with you girls, and sharing her vast wealth of knowledge with your Papa and I. It is lovely to see you two together, and though you prefer for me over anyone else to soothe you, Granny has become quite good at walking you around the house to keep you occupied while I put your sister down for a nap or get ready for the day. You guys make each other smile, and with the past few years Granny has had, I think you are helping her to enjoy small pockets of life again. My wish for you this month is for me also, because I hope and pray that when you have kids I will be around to help you with them, and that your Nana will be here as well to spend time with any you choose to care for. It makes an incredible difference in life and love to have time to focus on what matters, instead of the monotonous daily chores to cross off the list.
Kid, I dropped you on your head yesterday. I've got a bruise on my butt the size of a plum, so I took most of the force, but as I was bouncing you on the exercise ball to help you sleep, it exploded and I crashed to the floor. I mostly caught you, but the momentum of the fall caused you to bounce off my lap and bump your head on the deflated rubber ball, and the hard floor beneath it. You're fine, though my hands were shaking I was so scared your collarbone snapped again or something, and you screamed bloody murder for about 30 minutes non-stop. I was pacing the block out in the sun, in my socks, trying to calm you down, and though you were inconsolable for that time, you showed no ill effects from the fall. Unlike my derriere. It was the first time your head hit the floor, but surely not your last.
All in all, it's been a mellow month. Yes, there are problems in the house, but I'm confident that you won't remember them, and I don't want to give them power by putting them out in the universe. I hope you know that no matter what happens to this family, you are loved, you will always be loved and treasured, and nothing will ever change that. You have my heart, Gorilita.
I love you.
Mama
January 23, 2009
And it all comes crashing down
I had a feeling something was wrong, ever since last Friday I just knew things weren't okay. Now he comes clean, and I've been asked not to talk about it. So I ruminate. And I cry. And I try to figure out how things are going to play out, but I can't. I can't know. It's all on him. I can't influence this, I'm not in control. I don't know what to do anymore.
So the tears are dry, and all I can do is hope that he'll figure this out, stand by his side as he works through the shit storm he created, and pray that the girls and I will come through unscathed. All trust in him is gone. God, this is a fucked up thing to have to deal with when I already have 2 babies to care for. I had hopes for staying home with the girls, but can I give up my job now?
I am so hurt and disappointed. Please don't ask for details, just know that my life became so much harder today, and I'm trying to respect his wishes to deal with it himself. That may not last, but I have to give him a chance.
So the tears are dry, and all I can do is hope that he'll figure this out, stand by his side as he works through the shit storm he created, and pray that the girls and I will come through unscathed. All trust in him is gone. God, this is a fucked up thing to have to deal with when I already have 2 babies to care for. I had hopes for staying home with the girls, but can I give up my job now?
I am so hurt and disappointed. Please don't ask for details, just know that my life became so much harder today, and I'm trying to respect his wishes to deal with it himself. That may not last, but I have to give him a chance.
January 22, 2009
Month Thirty-One
Boogie, the day you turned 31 months we rang in an historic moment with mimosas for me, Nana and Granny, and you had OJ in your sippy. We watched the inauguration of President Barak H. Obama, the first African American president of this country. On election night a few months back you sat on the couch with me enthralled by his acceptance speech, and once again I am thrilled to have shared this momentous occasion with you. We cheered, clinked glasses, and you periodically yelled "Obama!" while watching the TV with a huge smile on your face. I know you won't remember that day, but know that you were there, you watched it live, and you were just as juiced as the rest of the world.
Speaking of TV, I want you to thank your sister for one thing, if nothing else: she made you a normal kid. Before she was born, I was stringent with TV. Most days you didn't see it at all unless I was sick or too tired, and then it was educational videos, cartoons set to kids songs, or Jackson's birthday. Now, you're getting around 45 minutes a day, still educational but a lot of the same Dora the Explorer episodes as well (which you know all the words to) so that I can have time to cook dinner or deal with your crying sister without you feeling neglected. I'm not happy about it, but I realized yesterday that I'm trying to do too much, trying to do it all and do it perfectly, and you are suffering. So there you go. Zoraya loosened the cable strings and now you'll be able to discuss non-violent educational cartoons with your friends at school. Say thank you. :)
I'm glad we didn't sign you up for gymnastics this month. It's January, but it's been 70 degrees for weeks so we've been able to go to the park, and play outside, take a few walks, and enjoy the beautiful unseasonal weather. And today it's raining so I put a video on for you so I could write you letter.
You are going through a rough transition right now, from a toddler to a preschooler and attempting to assert your independence. I am trying to help you explore your autonomy while maintaining mt sanity, and it's a hard balancing act but I think we're doing okay. It's funny though because you pretty much refuse to do anything I ask unless it involves someone else. You'll put Papa's shoes away, but not your own. You'll bring me a diaper to change Zoraya, but not when I need to change yours. And you'll eat food off my and your Papa's plate, but not what's on your own. So okay, I'm hoping this phase ends soon, but it's still fascinating to watch you go through it. So this month, my wish for you is that you remain fiercely independent but still have a kind heart, that you assert yourself but not to infringe on or hurt others, that you know clearly what you want and you go after it, but don't beat anyone else down to get there. We've been trying to perfect this for generations, and I have high hopes that you will be the first to achieve that balance.
I haven't talked much about your stature recently, because you haven't been to the doctor in months. You're getting tall, about 34 inches but are still a beanpole at a touch over 25 lbs. Girth-wise, you still fit into 18-24 month clothes and a size 4 diaper, but height-wise you're pushing up into 3T. And you are still one of the most stunning children I have ever seen. Everywhere we go people are commenting that you are so beautiful, and I'm trying to teach you to respond "Thank you, I'm smart too" so that you will learn that looks are not everything, but I have to be honest that you are absolutely gorgeous... and you know it.
You've also been a dancing queen again, stripping off all your clothes, turning on the radio and shaking your scrawny little butt to whatever comes on. I'm going to film you one day and hold it hostage to make sure I get into a nice retirment community.
I love you,
Mama
Speaking of TV, I want you to thank your sister for one thing, if nothing else: she made you a normal kid. Before she was born, I was stringent with TV. Most days you didn't see it at all unless I was sick or too tired, and then it was educational videos, cartoons set to kids songs, or Jackson's birthday. Now, you're getting around 45 minutes a day, still educational but a lot of the same Dora the Explorer episodes as well (which you know all the words to) so that I can have time to cook dinner or deal with your crying sister without you feeling neglected. I'm not happy about it, but I realized yesterday that I'm trying to do too much, trying to do it all and do it perfectly, and you are suffering. So there you go. Zoraya loosened the cable strings and now you'll be able to discuss non-violent educational cartoons with your friends at school. Say thank you. :)
I'm glad we didn't sign you up for gymnastics this month. It's January, but it's been 70 degrees for weeks so we've been able to go to the park, and play outside, take a few walks, and enjoy the beautiful unseasonal weather. And today it's raining so I put a video on for you so I could write you letter.
You are going through a rough transition right now, from a toddler to a preschooler and attempting to assert your independence. I am trying to help you explore your autonomy while maintaining mt sanity, and it's a hard balancing act but I think we're doing okay. It's funny though because you pretty much refuse to do anything I ask unless it involves someone else. You'll put Papa's shoes away, but not your own. You'll bring me a diaper to change Zoraya, but not when I need to change yours. And you'll eat food off my and your Papa's plate, but not what's on your own. So okay, I'm hoping this phase ends soon, but it's still fascinating to watch you go through it. So this month, my wish for you is that you remain fiercely independent but still have a kind heart, that you assert yourself but not to infringe on or hurt others, that you know clearly what you want and you go after it, but don't beat anyone else down to get there. We've been trying to perfect this for generations, and I have high hopes that you will be the first to achieve that balance.
I haven't talked much about your stature recently, because you haven't been to the doctor in months. You're getting tall, about 34 inches but are still a beanpole at a touch over 25 lbs. Girth-wise, you still fit into 18-24 month clothes and a size 4 diaper, but height-wise you're pushing up into 3T. And you are still one of the most stunning children I have ever seen. Everywhere we go people are commenting that you are so beautiful, and I'm trying to teach you to respond "Thank you, I'm smart too" so that you will learn that looks are not everything, but I have to be honest that you are absolutely gorgeous... and you know it.
You've also been a dancing queen again, stripping off all your clothes, turning on the radio and shaking your scrawny little butt to whatever comes on. I'm going to film you one day and hold it hostage to make sure I get into a nice retirment community.
I love you,
Mama
January 15, 2009
God, this is hard sometimes...
Sometimes the days are so hard that I am in tears by the time P gets home. Yesterday I had a screaming infant and a toddler who melted into the floor in tears, begging me to pick her up instead of the baby. I'm still struggling to balance my time, to make Boogie feel loved and attended to, but also to make sure Gorilita's needs are met as well. Then mine. Mine are always last, but I knew that going into this parenting thing, and I'm okay with that. It's splitting time with the girls that is killing me.
Then there are other times, like this morning, where Boogie is so loving and attentive to her sister, playing with her and seeing Glorilita's huge smile when she sees her sister's face melts my heart and makes the rough patches totally worth it. Then I'm in tears anyway when P gets home, so happy that I decided to sacrifice once again so that these sisters will grow up close in age, and hopefully as friends.
I just have to remind myself when things are hard that it will pass, and soon they will be able to play together and making sure they both feel loved now is vital to their later development.
Then there are other times, like this morning, where Boogie is so loving and attentive to her sister, playing with her and seeing Glorilita's huge smile when she sees her sister's face melts my heart and makes the rough patches totally worth it. Then I'm in tears anyway when P gets home, so happy that I decided to sacrifice once again so that these sisters will grow up close in age, and hopefully as friends.
I just have to remind myself when things are hard that it will pass, and soon they will be able to play together and making sure they both feel loved now is vital to their later development.
January 6, 2009
Effective Disciple?
Boogie has been a bit out of control lately, steadily wading through her terrible twos, and I have to keep reminding myself that this is completely normal. And also not to laugh too much. Her favorite thing now is saying "I can't do it" when I ask her to clean up after herself or do something, like bring me a tissue.
The other day I asked her to pick up her blocks after she dumped them on the floor and walked away. It was time to take a nap and she was being defiant, sprawled across the bench of her table moaning like I had asked her to pick me up and carry me up the stairs.
"I can't Mom, I'm too tired."
So I told her I'd take them away if she didn't help me pick them up, and she says, "Okay, can I go to sleep now?"
As if that wasn't cute enough, the next morning we moved her kitchen and found a couple of the blocks that I had missed putting away the day before. She picks them up, walks over to me with her hand out and says "Put these away too, Mom."
The other day I asked her to pick up her blocks after she dumped them on the floor and walked away. It was time to take a nap and she was being defiant, sprawled across the bench of her table moaning like I had asked her to pick me up and carry me up the stairs.
"I can't Mom, I'm too tired."
So I told her I'd take them away if she didn't help me pick them up, and she says, "Okay, can I go to sleep now?"
As if that wasn't cute enough, the next morning we moved her kitchen and found a couple of the blocks that I had missed putting away the day before. She picks them up, walks over to me with her hand out and says "Put these away too, Mom."
December 30, 2008
And the Requisite Photos...
Zoraya's first hospital glamor shot.
Not too happy about her first bath.
Me and the girls in the hospital.
Taryn trying to figure out what she's supposed to do with this baby.
Holding her and watching TV, just like Papa.
One of the only times she slept in the car seat.
Stoked much?
In Taryn's bed. She turned bright red when she gets really mad.
Christmas out take.
Christmas baby.
Month One
My Dearest Frogger,
We made it a month! Not a huge feat as aside from the last week you have been a pretty easy-going baby, sleeping stretches far longer than I had ever encountered in the first half-year of life with your sister, and no problems at all nursing, unless constant boob-suction for hours every evening is a problem.
As I type this with three fingers, you are nestled in my left arm, snoring away. Yes, I could put you down and type, but if I do that two things could happen ... 1) You might wake up and then I'd have to wait for your Papa and sister to get back from the park, then dinner, baths, my shower, putting Boogie to sleep, and Papa bouncing you to sleep on the exercise ball before I could finish, or 2) You might start gagging on the snot from your first cold ever which is dripping down your throat, wake yourself up then [insert list above]. So it's you and me for a while.
Not much happened this month to be honest. You missed Thanksgiving by a couple of days, but we did have a nice family-filled Christmas. I'm going to be honest, you didn't get much, mostly token gifts that your sister opened for you anyway, and Mama opened you a savings account. I'm going to wait to put your money in your 529 school account until the economy gets a bit better, but we are already saving for you. It's funny writing this, because you are such a huge part of your sister's day, but she doesn't play much of a role in yours. Ah, but that will change, and soon, I think.
You fart a lot. I hope this doesn't embarrass you later, but you do. Like, all day long, and people holding you can always feel it. I have to reassure them you're just pooting away and not pooping, and thank goodness that has gotten under control too. Twice a day and not at night, yeah! You've spit up only a few times, and only when it's totally inconvenient for us, but such is life.
I'm curious to see what you and Tygir's relationship is like later. She's not too happy with the sleeping arrangements right now, you, me and her in the bed, Papa and the puppies in the guest room. Used to be her and I when I was pregnant with you, and though I know the crying bothers her (she'll wander around meowing while you scream, especially during baths... why don't you like them?) and to show us she's not happy, she's been peeing on your carseat and sling. Which is nasty, but even worse because it usually leaks onto a whole other mess of stuff, and cat pee is a nasty smell. So, we'll see. She didn't like Taryn crying either, but I don't remember her defiling her property. So my wish for you this month is that animals learn to love you. It makes life so much easier to be in tune with your furry friends, and I'm sure this setback is just temporary.
Two more things I need to tell you. We call you Gorilita. Sorry. You're pretty much huge compared to Taryn, I'm guessing you're around 11lbs already, and tall, and we used to call her monkey, but I notice in the hospital you more closely resemble a gorilla with your dark full head of hair and your intense dark eyes. Maybe it'll stick, maybe not, but your huge squishy cheeks and kind of hunched-over stance just add to the effect.
The other is more serious, and I'm sorry if this hurts you later. I need you to know that this is normal, that my mother felt the same way about me, and if you decide to have children, it will be normal for you as well. When you were first born, I was sort of indifferent about you. I loved you immediately, but didn't feel really bonded to you. I have been so in love with your sister for the past 2.5 years and couldn't really imagine loving another child as much as I adored her. It wasn't post-partum depression, but it took a couple weeks for me to really want to spend time with you. Part of it is the fact that infants literally poop, eat and sleep, there is very little interaction in the first couple weeks, and I was trying to make sure Taryn didn't feel jealous or angry about you being born. Part of it is that I half-expected you to be just like her, and part of it is probably just a natural part of a major change, adjusting to having a bigger family, not being pregnant, etc.
I can say now that I am totally into you though. I love snuggling with you, how you put your nose into the fold of my neck when I am carrying you, and how I catch you just watching me when you are in your sling. I love that you calm so easily in my arms, and one thing that I can't say about your sister is that I am actually enjoying having an infant. You are just so easy-going it's a pleasure to stay up with you for hours because you aren't crying, you're just awake, and we can read books or watch a movie or whatever. You are a baby that would *almost* make me want another one if I could guarantee a pain-free delivery, a good eater and sleeper, and an extra set of hands. I'm all about full disclosure here, so I want you to know that in the beginning, I didn't cry when I first saw you, I slept in the hospital instead of staying awake to watch you sleep, but now, a month into our new life, I couldn't imagine myself without you. I am so looking forward to seeing you grow and blossom, meeting your personality, figuring out your likes and dislikes, and mostly, seeing you interact with your sister.
Gorilita, I am so blessed that you chose me to be your Mama. And I am thankful every day that although we had a harder pregnancy than anticipated, a rough delivery, and your kidney problem, you are healthy and happy and growing. And you are mine.
I love you,
Mommy
We made it a month! Not a huge feat as aside from the last week you have been a pretty easy-going baby, sleeping stretches far longer than I had ever encountered in the first half-year of life with your sister, and no problems at all nursing, unless constant boob-suction for hours every evening is a problem.
As I type this with three fingers, you are nestled in my left arm, snoring away. Yes, I could put you down and type, but if I do that two things could happen ... 1) You might wake up and then I'd have to wait for your Papa and sister to get back from the park, then dinner, baths, my shower, putting Boogie to sleep, and Papa bouncing you to sleep on the exercise ball before I could finish, or 2) You might start gagging on the snot from your first cold ever which is dripping down your throat, wake yourself up then [insert list above]. So it's you and me for a while.
Not much happened this month to be honest. You missed Thanksgiving by a couple of days, but we did have a nice family-filled Christmas. I'm going to be honest, you didn't get much, mostly token gifts that your sister opened for you anyway, and Mama opened you a savings account. I'm going to wait to put your money in your 529 school account until the economy gets a bit better, but we are already saving for you. It's funny writing this, because you are such a huge part of your sister's day, but she doesn't play much of a role in yours. Ah, but that will change, and soon, I think.
You fart a lot. I hope this doesn't embarrass you later, but you do. Like, all day long, and people holding you can always feel it. I have to reassure them you're just pooting away and not pooping, and thank goodness that has gotten under control too. Twice a day and not at night, yeah! You've spit up only a few times, and only when it's totally inconvenient for us, but such is life.
I'm curious to see what you and Tygir's relationship is like later. She's not too happy with the sleeping arrangements right now, you, me and her in the bed, Papa and the puppies in the guest room. Used to be her and I when I was pregnant with you, and though I know the crying bothers her (she'll wander around meowing while you scream, especially during baths... why don't you like them?) and to show us she's not happy, she's been peeing on your carseat and sling. Which is nasty, but even worse because it usually leaks onto a whole other mess of stuff, and cat pee is a nasty smell. So, we'll see. She didn't like Taryn crying either, but I don't remember her defiling her property. So my wish for you this month is that animals learn to love you. It makes life so much easier to be in tune with your furry friends, and I'm sure this setback is just temporary.
Two more things I need to tell you. We call you Gorilita. Sorry. You're pretty much huge compared to Taryn, I'm guessing you're around 11lbs already, and tall, and we used to call her monkey, but I notice in the hospital you more closely resemble a gorilla with your dark full head of hair and your intense dark eyes. Maybe it'll stick, maybe not, but your huge squishy cheeks and kind of hunched-over stance just add to the effect.
The other is more serious, and I'm sorry if this hurts you later. I need you to know that this is normal, that my mother felt the same way about me, and if you decide to have children, it will be normal for you as well. When you were first born, I was sort of indifferent about you. I loved you immediately, but didn't feel really bonded to you. I have been so in love with your sister for the past 2.5 years and couldn't really imagine loving another child as much as I adored her. It wasn't post-partum depression, but it took a couple weeks for me to really want to spend time with you. Part of it is the fact that infants literally poop, eat and sleep, there is very little interaction in the first couple weeks, and I was trying to make sure Taryn didn't feel jealous or angry about you being born. Part of it is that I half-expected you to be just like her, and part of it is probably just a natural part of a major change, adjusting to having a bigger family, not being pregnant, etc.
I can say now that I am totally into you though. I love snuggling with you, how you put your nose into the fold of my neck when I am carrying you, and how I catch you just watching me when you are in your sling. I love that you calm so easily in my arms, and one thing that I can't say about your sister is that I am actually enjoying having an infant. You are just so easy-going it's a pleasure to stay up with you for hours because you aren't crying, you're just awake, and we can read books or watch a movie or whatever. You are a baby that would *almost* make me want another one if I could guarantee a pain-free delivery, a good eater and sleeper, and an extra set of hands. I'm all about full disclosure here, so I want you to know that in the beginning, I didn't cry when I first saw you, I slept in the hospital instead of staying awake to watch you sleep, but now, a month into our new life, I couldn't imagine myself without you. I am so looking forward to seeing you grow and blossom, meeting your personality, figuring out your likes and dislikes, and mostly, seeing you interact with your sister.
Gorilita, I am so blessed that you chose me to be your Mama. And I am thankful every day that although we had a harder pregnancy than anticipated, a rough delivery, and your kidney problem, you are healthy and happy and growing. And you are mine.
I love you,
Mommy
December 26, 2008
Month Thirty
My Beautiful Girl, you've made it to the second half of your second year, and though this has been a difficult month for all of us you have blossomed into quite the social butterfly.
I promise not to turn your monthly letters into a recap of your sister's life (she'll have her own letters for that) but since she was born this month, I should comment on how you are adjusting. At first, things were good. You were super attached to Zoraya, wanted to help with everything from changing diapers to swaddling to nursing, and at least 10 times per day you'd come to me and ask to hold her. Within the last few days though you've been acting out a bit, crying very easily and throwing tantrums (for most kids, they'd probably be small hissy-fits, but for you it's a full out puddle-on-the-floor tantrum). You also haven't been sleeping as well, waking up very early or very late, and crying when we leave you at night. I know it's hard, and I know we'll get through this. I constantly remind myself that you are only 2. In some ways you seem so much older, much more mature, but in others you are spot-on your age. This is on of them.
You are still very affectionate with your sister though, holding her and helping me to take care of her. Thankfully she sleeps through your noise, banging on the drum Papa bought you for Christmas (which you love, and had a great little jam session with your Popo the other day). I can't wait until she's old enough for you two to play together, and although I know the older you get, the more you'll fight, I also know you'll love her and protect her for the rest of your life.
As for blossoming though, for the past year you have been very shy even around family and people you see often and know. But these past few weeks you have warmed up incredibly fast, and now are playing within 20 minutes as opposed to 2 the 2 hours it used to take you. No exaggeration, you would cling to me for 2 full hours before you'd go play with the kids, and it would take 3-4 hours to interact with the adults. This past Friday you were playing with Popo and Grammy (whom you had never even met before) within about 30 minutes. I love it because people are drawn to you and you have so much fun with them, and I just love seeing the look of delight on both of your faces. So this month my wish for you is that you continue to light up people's lives simply by being your wonderful self.
We haven't been out much, though we are going to see Christmas lights tonight before they take them all down. We did go to a Christmas show and you had a ball watching the dancers and listening to music and learned how to do the chicken dance. The second half of the show was a little dark and we left early, and I think you had a nightmare about the clown, so I'm hoping that isn't something that stays with you forever.
And you've started calling me "Mom" and your Papa "Babe". Nice, huh? I know you are just mimicking what you hear, and it is cute, but I hope the habit doesn't stick. Not very cool when we're out in public and you tell to your Papa "Come over here, Babe!" People stare. Then laugh. Great.
Alright kid, I'm tired. You were up until 11:30pm last night and woke up this morning at 7am, so between that and your sister staying away and fussing until 3am, I need a nap. But I love you, and I promise things will get better. You won't even remember how hard this time is and will be for a while, and I promise that having a sister will eventually be a blessing, even though right now it may feel more like a curse to you. You will always be my angel.
I love you.
"Mom"
I promise not to turn your monthly letters into a recap of your sister's life (she'll have her own letters for that) but since she was born this month, I should comment on how you are adjusting. At first, things were good. You were super attached to Zoraya, wanted to help with everything from changing diapers to swaddling to nursing, and at least 10 times per day you'd come to me and ask to hold her. Within the last few days though you've been acting out a bit, crying very easily and throwing tantrums (for most kids, they'd probably be small hissy-fits, but for you it's a full out puddle-on-the-floor tantrum). You also haven't been sleeping as well, waking up very early or very late, and crying when we leave you at night. I know it's hard, and I know we'll get through this. I constantly remind myself that you are only 2. In some ways you seem so much older, much more mature, but in others you are spot-on your age. This is on of them.
You are still very affectionate with your sister though, holding her and helping me to take care of her. Thankfully she sleeps through your noise, banging on the drum Papa bought you for Christmas (which you love, and had a great little jam session with your Popo the other day). I can't wait until she's old enough for you two to play together, and although I know the older you get, the more you'll fight, I also know you'll love her and protect her for the rest of your life.
As for blossoming though, for the past year you have been very shy even around family and people you see often and know. But these past few weeks you have warmed up incredibly fast, and now are playing within 20 minutes as opposed to 2 the 2 hours it used to take you. No exaggeration, you would cling to me for 2 full hours before you'd go play with the kids, and it would take 3-4 hours to interact with the adults. This past Friday you were playing with Popo and Grammy (whom you had never even met before) within about 30 minutes. I love it because people are drawn to you and you have so much fun with them, and I just love seeing the look of delight on both of your faces. So this month my wish for you is that you continue to light up people's lives simply by being your wonderful self.
We haven't been out much, though we are going to see Christmas lights tonight before they take them all down. We did go to a Christmas show and you had a ball watching the dancers and listening to music and learned how to do the chicken dance. The second half of the show was a little dark and we left early, and I think you had a nightmare about the clown, so I'm hoping that isn't something that stays with you forever.
And you've started calling me "Mom" and your Papa "Babe". Nice, huh? I know you are just mimicking what you hear, and it is cute, but I hope the habit doesn't stick. Not very cool when we're out in public and you tell to your Papa "Come over here, Babe!" People stare. Then laugh. Great.
Alright kid, I'm tired. You were up until 11:30pm last night and woke up this morning at 7am, so between that and your sister staying away and fussing until 3am, I need a nap. But I love you, and I promise things will get better. You won't even remember how hard this time is and will be for a while, and I promise that having a sister will eventually be a blessing, even though right now it may feel more like a curse to you. You will always be my angel.
I love you.
"Mom"
December 13, 2008
The Challenge
This pregnancy, I gained a grand total of 50lbs! Whoot! And I've lost 20 so far, so yay for big babies. But it's time to think about if and how I'm going to be slim again for the summer. I know most people can't tell that I'm still 30lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight, but none of my clothes fit, and that's my biggest motivator.
My darling husband is also about 30lbs away from his ideal weight, so we made a friendly wager: Whoever loses 30lbs first, or the person to lose the most by April 15th gets a sweet prize.
At first he thought I had an unfair advantage because I'm nursing, but I had to remind him that it took me a full 9 months to lose the 41lbs I gained while pregnant with Boogie. And he's got a huge advantage over me since he actually has a gym membership and has a while 16 week course laid out for him. So I think we're mostly even except...
1. I'm going to plateau way before him. We're both carrying extra weight, but my body is going to try to hold onto it as long as possible so that I have reserves for nursing. His isn't, but he'll be gaining muscle while he loses fat, and I'm hoping that will be enough to let me win. :)
2. I have way more willpower when it comes to food and have healthier habits already established. At midnight when we finish a movie and are both a bit hungry, I'm fine with an orange and a glass of water, while he will eat another plate of carne and mandioca. At midnight. Plus, I'll be home and able to prepare my own food when he goes back to work, and he'll most likely be too lazy to bring his food, and will then be eating more calories, fat, etc from take-out.
3. I can't exercise for 4 more weeks, due to my 'birthing injury' so he has almost a month head start on me. But, when I do start I'll probably be carrying Gorilita so I'll burn more calories since I'll be lugging an extra 10-12lbs with me.
So, we'll see. And I'll of course keep a log of how much I'm losing and how... if anything.
My darling husband is also about 30lbs away from his ideal weight, so we made a friendly wager: Whoever loses 30lbs first, or the person to lose the most by April 15th gets a sweet prize.
At first he thought I had an unfair advantage because I'm nursing, but I had to remind him that it took me a full 9 months to lose the 41lbs I gained while pregnant with Boogie. And he's got a huge advantage over me since he actually has a gym membership and has a while 16 week course laid out for him. So I think we're mostly even except...
1. I'm going to plateau way before him. We're both carrying extra weight, but my body is going to try to hold onto it as long as possible so that I have reserves for nursing. His isn't, but he'll be gaining muscle while he loses fat, and I'm hoping that will be enough to let me win. :)
2. I have way more willpower when it comes to food and have healthier habits already established. At midnight when we finish a movie and are both a bit hungry, I'm fine with an orange and a glass of water, while he will eat another plate of carne and mandioca. At midnight. Plus, I'll be home and able to prepare my own food when he goes back to work, and he'll most likely be too lazy to bring his food, and will then be eating more calories, fat, etc from take-out.
3. I can't exercise for 4 more weeks, due to my 'birthing injury' so he has almost a month head start on me. But, when I do start I'll probably be carrying Gorilita so I'll burn more calories since I'll be lugging an extra 10-12lbs with me.
So, we'll see. And I'll of course keep a log of how much I'm losing and how... if anything.
December 3, 2008
Welcome to the World!
Miss Zoraya Alina Caballero, I am so happy to finally meet you.
For the record, I want to explain your name and why all your hospital documents say "Baby Girl Caballero." See, as soon as your Papa and I found out we were having another Princess, we immediately decided that your name would contain "Lina" as a tribute to your great-grandmother Theolina. Papa wanted your first name to be "Alina" and I agreed on the condition that I could pick your middle name, but he vetoed "Sanaa" which was my first choice, so we stopped talking about names.
I started researching, and compiled a list of names. He'd look it over and pick his two favorites, and cross off the ones he absolutely did not like. From the first list Ikayla and Zolaya were the top two. Ikayla I vetoed, and for some reason we started calling you Zoraya. And I guess it just stuck. We didn't discuss names too much because we couldn't agree, so when you were born at the hospital and they asked your name, I said I didn't know yet. Of course your Papa sent a text message to everyone 20 minutes later announcing your name (thank goodness he didn't put Ikayla!) so that decided it. I hope you like it Love, I think it's beautiful.
(For everyone else, as far as I can find the name is either Slavic meaning "dawn" or has an African origin meaning "African princess" or is Arabic for "rich." African princess seems to be the most common. And sort of funny, because Taryn can mean "little princess" in Scandinavian or "Queen" from the Greco-Roman origin. I'm sure she'll go for Queen.)
So on to your birth. Kid, I waited so long for you! You were two days early, but I expected you weeks before that since I had been having contractions and was 3cm dilated since the middle of November. I really thought you would be born on Thanksgiving this year too, that's how strong I was feeling you come, but your big sister told us for 2 weeks that you would be born on Saturday, and though Friday I had practically no symptoms at all, she was right. She also said you would be a girl when I was so sure I was having a boy... crazy.
So Friday night I went to bed around 11:30 after having our second Thanksgiving at the house. I couldn't fall asleep, my legs were cramping and I couldn't get comfortable. I did have a couple contractions, but they weren't painful, just annoying. At about 12:35 I heard a loud *pop* and felt a gush of water soak through my pajamas and onto the bed. I felt you kick around the same time, so either you popped your own bag of waters, or it freaked you out as much as it surprised you, and you kicked right afterwards.
I went to the restroom and looked in a book to make sure having pink fluid was normal while your Papa called Nana to let her know we were going to the hospital. We had to leave a message, and I knew we needed to go right away, so we called Jojo to come watch your big sister, and headed off to the hospital right before 1:00am. Of course Papa's car had no gas in it, so we had to stop and by then the contractions were coming about 3 minutes apart so I told him to put in $2 only (about 1 gallon) or we weren't going to make it to the hospital.
For the next 45 minutes we drove through thick fog with me having contractions every 2 minutes and they were lasting 90 seconds each. I think I scared your Papa but they hurt so bad and were coming so fast all I could do was breathe and roll down the window to distract myself. Papa doesn't see well at night, so I know he was scared of getting in an accident and worried that he couldn't go past the speed limit because he couldn't see more than 15 feet in front of him.
When we were down the street from the hospital (Papa missed the exit, even though I told him, and we had to take the next one) I started to get very worried because I had the feeling you were coming very, very soon. We were stopped at a red light for 2 contractions (the only way for me to measure time in the moment) and as soon as we got through I told him not to stop at any stop signs. As we pulled past the hospital to the ER entrance in the back, I felt the urge to push.
So Papa pulled up at the ER entrance, started honking his horn, then jumped out of the car and ran inside to tell them I was having you. He grabbed a wheelchair and helped me into it, then went to park the car as the nurse brought me upstairs to Labor and Delivery. I kept telling her to hurry, that I needed to push, and she kept trying to reassure me that "It's okay, we're almost there, you'll be okay" but I don't think she believed me. As we got to L&D the nurse there saw how close I was, skipped registration and rushed me into the delivery room. They got me in a gown and held a monitor to my stomach and checked me. I was 7cm.
One contraction later your Papa was upstairs and they checked me again because I told them I really needed to push. I was already 9cm and ready to go. I pushed on the next one, then your Nana showed up. Less than 10 minutes after Papa and I got to the hospital, you were born. I don't think it was supposed to be that fast, but your heartbeat dropped to the 70's and they were worried about brain damage from lack of oxygen. They cut me to get you out faster and you actually broke your collar bone on the way. After you were born, I started to hemorrhage so they gave me an IV of pitocin to stimulate contractions to get my uterus back in shape and stop the bleeding.
And you, my beautiful girl, were born at 1:57 am, less than 1.5 hours after my water broke. You were a healthy 8lbs, 13 ozs and 21 inches long. The midwife who delivered you said if I have another baby, I need to go on the diabetic diet, because they didn't think I could deliver a baby any bigger than you.
And now My Sweet, we finally have you home with us. It's been a mellow few days, you eat like a champ, no problems latching though you do like to stay at the boob constantly in the evenings and you've been pooping up a storm. Like really, the nurses said 1 poop a day is normal right now, and you are averaging 3 a day. You've been letting me sleep well at night so far, 3 hour stretches though I have you in the bed with me since you don't seem to want to stay in the bassinet for anything but naps.
And your sister adores you. She asks to hold you probably 20 times per day, is always climbing up to give you a kiss, or hold your hand, or read you a book while she is in the middle of playing. She revolves around you right now, and I hope that you are able to maintain such a close relationship as you have now. And your Papa is infatuated as well, maybe because you were born with a head of thick black hair, just like his. You two are sleeping on the bed right now, and you look so much alike in this moment, it's uncanny.
That's all for now Kiddo. I love you with all my heart, and I am so glad you are finally here, and healthy and I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you.
Love,
Mama
For the record, I want to explain your name and why all your hospital documents say "Baby Girl Caballero." See, as soon as your Papa and I found out we were having another Princess, we immediately decided that your name would contain "Lina" as a tribute to your great-grandmother Theolina. Papa wanted your first name to be "Alina" and I agreed on the condition that I could pick your middle name, but he vetoed "Sanaa" which was my first choice, so we stopped talking about names.
I started researching, and compiled a list of names. He'd look it over and pick his two favorites, and cross off the ones he absolutely did not like. From the first list Ikayla and Zolaya were the top two. Ikayla I vetoed, and for some reason we started calling you Zoraya. And I guess it just stuck. We didn't discuss names too much because we couldn't agree, so when you were born at the hospital and they asked your name, I said I didn't know yet. Of course your Papa sent a text message to everyone 20 minutes later announcing your name (thank goodness he didn't put Ikayla!) so that decided it. I hope you like it Love, I think it's beautiful.
(For everyone else, as far as I can find the name is either Slavic meaning "dawn" or has an African origin meaning "African princess" or is Arabic for "rich." African princess seems to be the most common. And sort of funny, because Taryn can mean "little princess" in Scandinavian or "Queen" from the Greco-Roman origin. I'm sure she'll go for Queen.)
So on to your birth. Kid, I waited so long for you! You were two days early, but I expected you weeks before that since I had been having contractions and was 3cm dilated since the middle of November. I really thought you would be born on Thanksgiving this year too, that's how strong I was feeling you come, but your big sister told us for 2 weeks that you would be born on Saturday, and though Friday I had practically no symptoms at all, she was right. She also said you would be a girl when I was so sure I was having a boy... crazy.
So Friday night I went to bed around 11:30 after having our second Thanksgiving at the house. I couldn't fall asleep, my legs were cramping and I couldn't get comfortable. I did have a couple contractions, but they weren't painful, just annoying. At about 12:35 I heard a loud *pop* and felt a gush of water soak through my pajamas and onto the bed. I felt you kick around the same time, so either you popped your own bag of waters, or it freaked you out as much as it surprised you, and you kicked right afterwards.
I went to the restroom and looked in a book to make sure having pink fluid was normal while your Papa called Nana to let her know we were going to the hospital. We had to leave a message, and I knew we needed to go right away, so we called Jojo to come watch your big sister, and headed off to the hospital right before 1:00am. Of course Papa's car had no gas in it, so we had to stop and by then the contractions were coming about 3 minutes apart so I told him to put in $2 only (about 1 gallon) or we weren't going to make it to the hospital.
For the next 45 minutes we drove through thick fog with me having contractions every 2 minutes and they were lasting 90 seconds each. I think I scared your Papa but they hurt so bad and were coming so fast all I could do was breathe and roll down the window to distract myself. Papa doesn't see well at night, so I know he was scared of getting in an accident and worried that he couldn't go past the speed limit because he couldn't see more than 15 feet in front of him.
When we were down the street from the hospital (Papa missed the exit, even though I told him, and we had to take the next one) I started to get very worried because I had the feeling you were coming very, very soon. We were stopped at a red light for 2 contractions (the only way for me to measure time in the moment) and as soon as we got through I told him not to stop at any stop signs. As we pulled past the hospital to the ER entrance in the back, I felt the urge to push.
So Papa pulled up at the ER entrance, started honking his horn, then jumped out of the car and ran inside to tell them I was having you. He grabbed a wheelchair and helped me into it, then went to park the car as the nurse brought me upstairs to Labor and Delivery. I kept telling her to hurry, that I needed to push, and she kept trying to reassure me that "It's okay, we're almost there, you'll be okay" but I don't think she believed me. As we got to L&D the nurse there saw how close I was, skipped registration and rushed me into the delivery room. They got me in a gown and held a monitor to my stomach and checked me. I was 7cm.
One contraction later your Papa was upstairs and they checked me again because I told them I really needed to push. I was already 9cm and ready to go. I pushed on the next one, then your Nana showed up. Less than 10 minutes after Papa and I got to the hospital, you were born. I don't think it was supposed to be that fast, but your heartbeat dropped to the 70's and they were worried about brain damage from lack of oxygen. They cut me to get you out faster and you actually broke your collar bone on the way. After you were born, I started to hemorrhage so they gave me an IV of pitocin to stimulate contractions to get my uterus back in shape and stop the bleeding.
And you, my beautiful girl, were born at 1:57 am, less than 1.5 hours after my water broke. You were a healthy 8lbs, 13 ozs and 21 inches long. The midwife who delivered you said if I have another baby, I need to go on the diabetic diet, because they didn't think I could deliver a baby any bigger than you.
And now My Sweet, we finally have you home with us. It's been a mellow few days, you eat like a champ, no problems latching though you do like to stay at the boob constantly in the evenings and you've been pooping up a storm. Like really, the nurses said 1 poop a day is normal right now, and you are averaging 3 a day. You've been letting me sleep well at night so far, 3 hour stretches though I have you in the bed with me since you don't seem to want to stay in the bassinet for anything but naps.
And your sister adores you. She asks to hold you probably 20 times per day, is always climbing up to give you a kiss, or hold your hand, or read you a book while she is in the middle of playing. She revolves around you right now, and I hope that you are able to maintain such a close relationship as you have now. And your Papa is infatuated as well, maybe because you were born with a head of thick black hair, just like his. You two are sleeping on the bed right now, and you look so much alike in this moment, it's uncanny.
That's all for now Kiddo. I love you with all my heart, and I am so glad you are finally here, and healthy and I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you.
Love,
Mama
November 21, 2008
Month Twenty-Nine
Well Kiddo, looks like you are almost 2.5 years old, but I could swear you're turning twenty. First off, what's up with the memory? It used to be that I could promise you something, like ... "If you go to sleep now, we'll read Cinderella when you wake up!" And you'd sleep, and forget all about Cinderella. Now, the minute you wake up, you go get Cinderella and I have to read it, because I promised. Or how I told you that the chocolate chip pumpkin muffins were a snack, and not breakfast, lunch or dinner, and every time I ask you if you are hungry, you get a glint in your eye and ask for a snack. Smart kid, but I need to figure out another form of deception for you now.
Speaking of books, I'll apologize ahead of time if I've already ruined your social life by getting you addicted to books. Truthfully, I didn't read much to you when you were a baby, it was boring because I knew you didn't know what I was saying, and books for that age group are a bit...dry. So I'd read you my murder mysteries out loud so when your pediatrician asked if I read to you, I could honestly say 'yes' without elaborating. And also, you were more interested in eating them than reading back then, so hey, I did what worked for both of us. But I rearranged your room recently (nesting, one day you will know that drama it can cause) and now your books are all at your level, and you are in heaven.
When you wake up from your naps or in the morning, we don't hear a peep from you unless you are reading out loud to your pony or one of your dolls. Mostly though we'll find you in your bed with a pile of books, in the dark, flipping through the pictures and mumbling a story line, happy as can be all by yourself. I love it. I remember staying up for hours reading when I was a kid and the joy and escape that it brought to me, as well as the trouble it ultimately kept me out of. So I hope that you retain your love of literature, and that you let if expand past fiction to a love of books of all things, past and present, real and make-believe.
I've been on maternity leave for 2 weeks now, and aside from being laid up with a cold and stomach flu, and the obsessive cleaning and organizing that I've been doing, we're having a blast. Lots of play dates, coffee shop stops, shopping, and of course reading tons of books. We've been cooking together, and you are becoming a pro at stirring (and 'tasting' when my back is turned) and I still can't get over what a love-bug you are. You are also getting much more comfortable with starngers, playing peek-a-boo with people behind us when we are in line at the store and waving hi and bye to the neighbors you previously ignored.
You've also become quite a protector for mommy, and it's not your job to take care of me, but it is cute to see you try. Like when I get frustrated with the dog, you'll pick Rosco up and carry him out of the room, then shut the door. Or try to help me put on my shoes because it's so hard to bend over with a huge belly right now. You get the animal food from the cabinets for me, point out all the spiders for me to 'clean' and consistently tell me how to drive, from letting me know what the colors of the lights mean, to urging me "Mama, let's go!" when we are stuck behind a slower car.
Wait, back to the memory thing? You remember our full names and all of our birth dates. You remember what you were wearing the last time you saw someone a week ago, and ask to wear the same thing the next time you see them. It's almost weird how you seem to absorb everything, reminding me if Papa is at work or in class from one day to the next, based on what he tells you in the morning, or what to buy at the store. If I told you two days ago that on Saturday you would see Nana, when I tell you when it is Saturday, you'll ask to see Nana. Really, quite uncanny for your age.
I'm continually amazed at how grown up you are, but so completely innocent at the same time. I know I tell you a hundred times a day, but I love you with all my heart, and I can't imagine my life without you.
Love,
Mama
Speaking of books, I'll apologize ahead of time if I've already ruined your social life by getting you addicted to books. Truthfully, I didn't read much to you when you were a baby, it was boring because I knew you didn't know what I was saying, and books for that age group are a bit...dry. So I'd read you my murder mysteries out loud so when your pediatrician asked if I read to you, I could honestly say 'yes' without elaborating. And also, you were more interested in eating them than reading back then, so hey, I did what worked for both of us. But I rearranged your room recently (nesting, one day you will know that drama it can cause) and now your books are all at your level, and you are in heaven.
When you wake up from your naps or in the morning, we don't hear a peep from you unless you are reading out loud to your pony or one of your dolls. Mostly though we'll find you in your bed with a pile of books, in the dark, flipping through the pictures and mumbling a story line, happy as can be all by yourself. I love it. I remember staying up for hours reading when I was a kid and the joy and escape that it brought to me, as well as the trouble it ultimately kept me out of. So I hope that you retain your love of literature, and that you let if expand past fiction to a love of books of all things, past and present, real and make-believe.
I've been on maternity leave for 2 weeks now, and aside from being laid up with a cold and stomach flu, and the obsessive cleaning and organizing that I've been doing, we're having a blast. Lots of play dates, coffee shop stops, shopping, and of course reading tons of books. We've been cooking together, and you are becoming a pro at stirring (and 'tasting' when my back is turned) and I still can't get over what a love-bug you are. You are also getting much more comfortable with starngers, playing peek-a-boo with people behind us when we are in line at the store and waving hi and bye to the neighbors you previously ignored.
You've also become quite a protector for mommy, and it's not your job to take care of me, but it is cute to see you try. Like when I get frustrated with the dog, you'll pick Rosco up and carry him out of the room, then shut the door. Or try to help me put on my shoes because it's so hard to bend over with a huge belly right now. You get the animal food from the cabinets for me, point out all the spiders for me to 'clean' and consistently tell me how to drive, from letting me know what the colors of the lights mean, to urging me "Mama, let's go!" when we are stuck behind a slower car.
Wait, back to the memory thing? You remember our full names and all of our birth dates. You remember what you were wearing the last time you saw someone a week ago, and ask to wear the same thing the next time you see them. It's almost weird how you seem to absorb everything, reminding me if Papa is at work or in class from one day to the next, based on what he tells you in the morning, or what to buy at the store. If I told you two days ago that on Saturday you would see Nana, when I tell you when it is Saturday, you'll ask to see Nana. Really, quite uncanny for your age.
I'm continually amazed at how grown up you are, but so completely innocent at the same time. I know I tell you a hundred times a day, but I love you with all my heart, and I can't imagine my life without you.
Love,
Mama
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