I walked out of the bathroom last night after taking a steaming shower with new, yummy smelling soap with some sort of exfoliator beads baked right in.
I hear Boogie singing her never-ending rendition of "Row Your Boat" with a bit of "ABC's" mixed in, so I peeked out the door.
P was standing in the hallway, shaking his booty to our daughter's song while ironing his shirts for work. She was laying belly-down in the bathtub 'swimming' and drawing pictures with her bath crayons, including a blue mustache on her own face.
It melted my heart, and I knew everything was right in my world at that moment.
October 31, 2008
October 29, 2008
Not a Single Original Thought
I think it's all been done before. I can't imagine a single action, thought, or experience in my life that hasn't happened to someone before me. After thousands of years of existence, there is nothing original in my life.
And it doesn't really bother me all that much.
I used to want to be different. I felt different and searched for things in my life to justify that feeling, and maybe it's having children, or being married, or just maturation, but I'm starting to feel like it's all been done before.
The individual pieces of our lives are interchangeable, we're never alone, and yet what makes us unique are all those pieces together, and the story of our entire lives that we've constructed with those basic building blocks. Like DNA, we all start with the same 'stuff' but how it is arranged, what came before and after and all those small details piled up is what makes us indiciduals.
I sometimes get stuck feeling as though no one understands me. I get tired trying to explain myself to other people, hoping for that glimmer of recongition so I can say, "Yes! That exactly." And not have to explain anymore. I've felt lately that people around me understand the point but not in the context of my life. I feel like I can relate on that one thing, but how it affects me based on past experiences is too far to reach. I feel like even though we have a lot in common, my history makes it impossible to ever be truly understood.
And that's okay. Because if someone ever understood me completely they might find out those things that I try to hide too. The lovely double edged sword.
I guess that in some parts of my life I feel like I'm going in circles. I'm reenacting the same conflicts and disappointments over and over, and I don't know how to jump off that dysfunctional hamster wheel. And people give me advice, and I understand (and often agree) but I can never explain all the small details and experiences to make someone understand that I can't just give up. There is too much history to give up.
So I hop back on the wheel, and run in place. But it's all been done before. Someone has worked it out in the past, and I have full confidence that one day I'll stumble on that path too, that it will be well trod by people before me and I can follow their footsteps for that time until I have myself straightened out, then I'll follow another path and see where it leads me.
And it doesn't really bother me all that much.
I used to want to be different. I felt different and searched for things in my life to justify that feeling, and maybe it's having children, or being married, or just maturation, but I'm starting to feel like it's all been done before.
The individual pieces of our lives are interchangeable, we're never alone, and yet what makes us unique are all those pieces together, and the story of our entire lives that we've constructed with those basic building blocks. Like DNA, we all start with the same 'stuff' but how it is arranged, what came before and after and all those small details piled up is what makes us indiciduals.
I sometimes get stuck feeling as though no one understands me. I get tired trying to explain myself to other people, hoping for that glimmer of recongition so I can say, "Yes! That exactly." And not have to explain anymore. I've felt lately that people around me understand the point but not in the context of my life. I feel like I can relate on that one thing, but how it affects me based on past experiences is too far to reach. I feel like even though we have a lot in common, my history makes it impossible to ever be truly understood.
And that's okay. Because if someone ever understood me completely they might find out those things that I try to hide too. The lovely double edged sword.
I guess that in some parts of my life I feel like I'm going in circles. I'm reenacting the same conflicts and disappointments over and over, and I don't know how to jump off that dysfunctional hamster wheel. And people give me advice, and I understand (and often agree) but I can never explain all the small details and experiences to make someone understand that I can't just give up. There is too much history to give up.
So I hop back on the wheel, and run in place. But it's all been done before. Someone has worked it out in the past, and I have full confidence that one day I'll stumble on that path too, that it will be well trod by people before me and I can follow their footsteps for that time until I have myself straightened out, then I'll follow another path and see where it leads me.
October 26, 2008
Almost Pee'd My Pants
I was fixing Boogie's hair this morning so P could take her out to get fish and pupusas. I feel like crap, otherwise I may have wanted to go, but my head was pounding and I but her bangs started doing this weird outward flip thing which made them stick straight out from her forehead.
P suggested we put a cold roller in her hair to curl them back under, but it wasn't staying so I told him to put some water on them so they'd keep that shape when they dried.
Next thing I know he's chasing her into the room with the iron.
Me: Babe! What the heck are you doing?
P: You told me to spray water on them!
And he corners her and starts spraying water from the iron onto her hair, soaking the top of her head and misting her entire face as well. I was laughing so hard I really almost lost it. I had to run to the restroom before Frogger kicked me and really made a mess.
But it did work. :)
P suggested we put a cold roller in her hair to curl them back under, but it wasn't staying so I told him to put some water on them so they'd keep that shape when they dried.
Next thing I know he's chasing her into the room with the iron.
Me: Babe! What the heck are you doing?
P: You told me to spray water on them!
And he corners her and starts spraying water from the iron onto her hair, soaking the top of her head and misting her entire face as well. I was laughing so hard I really almost lost it. I had to run to the restroom before Frogger kicked me and really made a mess.
But it did work. :)
October 22, 2008
Spot On and NatGEO
I'd been worrying about Taryn's sleep habits for a couple weeks now. She's quite consistent, but just not on an even similar schedule to any other kid I'm aware of. My little Angel sleeps 9p-8a at night, then a 2-3 hour nap in the afternoon. Sometimes she wants to nap 4 hours, but very rarely less than 2.5. So that makes about 14 average per day, and I didn't know if that was average or what.
Well, just read a WedMD article that said toddlers typically sleep 12-14 hours per day, so I guess she's doing fine. I have to say, though I can see the appeal of getting her to sleep earlier and having more of a break at night, I love that I get to see her for almost 4.5 hours after work, and I get to sleep in on the weekends.
Yes, waking up at 8am is sleeping in when your alarm is normally set for 5:45.
And ohmigoodness! P and I had quite a show on Saturday night.
I woke up around 12:45am to tinkle and heard a rustling noise outside and a low growl. I figured it was a cat or spazoid deer or something, so I looked out the window and literally 15 feet from me was a deer being stalked by 2 coyotes! The deer was backed up against the fence that separates our 'lawn' from the wilderness and the coyotes were doing figure 8's on either side getting closer and closer. I called to P who was dead asleep and the sound of my voice frightened the coyotes off a bit. We could tell the deer was injured so we makes some more hissing noises to scare them off, and one coyote ran up the hill, while the other one moved off about 30 feet but sat watching.
We went back to bed after a while, but for the next hour whenever we heard anything one of us would get up and look out the window with a flashlight and give the other an update. At some point P closed the window (I was knocked out, watching live nature shows really is exhausting) so we didn't get to see how it ended, but that deer was hardcore. He made a run for it at least once and got cornered and forced back down to the fence, but I think he made it in the end. I mean, if they could have taken him easily they would have, but he seemed smart enough and the coyotes were kind of wimpy.
So. I'm off the hook for walking the dogs in the early morning and at night, at least for a while. And the cat is grounded when the sun starts to go down.
Well, just read a WedMD article that said toddlers typically sleep 12-14 hours per day, so I guess she's doing fine. I have to say, though I can see the appeal of getting her to sleep earlier and having more of a break at night, I love that I get to see her for almost 4.5 hours after work, and I get to sleep in on the weekends.
Yes, waking up at 8am is sleeping in when your alarm is normally set for 5:45.
And ohmigoodness! P and I had quite a show on Saturday night.
I woke up around 12:45am to tinkle and heard a rustling noise outside and a low growl. I figured it was a cat or spazoid deer or something, so I looked out the window and literally 15 feet from me was a deer being stalked by 2 coyotes! The deer was backed up against the fence that separates our 'lawn' from the wilderness and the coyotes were doing figure 8's on either side getting closer and closer. I called to P who was dead asleep and the sound of my voice frightened the coyotes off a bit. We could tell the deer was injured so we makes some more hissing noises to scare them off, and one coyote ran up the hill, while the other one moved off about 30 feet but sat watching.
We went back to bed after a while, but for the next hour whenever we heard anything one of us would get up and look out the window with a flashlight and give the other an update. At some point P closed the window (I was knocked out, watching live nature shows really is exhausting) so we didn't get to see how it ended, but that deer was hardcore. He made a run for it at least once and got cornered and forced back down to the fence, but I think he made it in the end. I mean, if they could have taken him easily they would have, but he seemed smart enough and the coyotes were kind of wimpy.
So. I'm off the hook for walking the dogs in the early morning and at night, at least for a while. And the cat is grounded when the sun starts to go down.
October 21, 2008
Month Twenty-Eight
Oh Child, the things you say nowaday. Rather, the things you repeat, shock the bejeebus out of me sometimes. It's mostly cute things, like how you've picked up on my "Ummmm .... no" instead of just saying no, but you also started the habit of saying "Shhhhh! Baby sleeping!" when you are playing with your dolls and we are talking too loudly. I can only remember one time that you've been shushed when there was a sleeping baby at the house, but I guess it's good practice for when your baby sister is born.
Last month you were much more into singing and dancing together, but it seems like the last few weeks you've only wanted to really sing. And sing. And sing. You sing in the bathtub, in your carseat, when I get you up from a nap you are typically awake in your toddler bed singing to Osito or a baby doll. It's awesome how well you know the words to songs, how you can hum the tune of your favorites, and how after you sing Happy Birthday (or insert part of it into another song) you blow out imaginary candles.
Speaking of toddler bed, you transitioned amazingly well to it. The first week was a piece of cake, though the second week we did have to set some limits on geting out of bed and you cried a few times when I left you in there, but for the last couple weeks you are excited to go to sleep, and even when we read books at night you want to sit in your bed, propped up with pillows like Mama does, and turn the pages yourself. And the only way I can leave is by singing ABC and Twinkle Twinkle, and I'm tripping because it took me 25 years to figure out that they have the same tune. Thanks Doll.
We've also moved on from board books to actual stories at night, 101 Dalmations, Winnie the Pooh and Snow White have been in rotation for the last week. It's much more interesting (for me) to read these than to recite your other books from memory with my eyes closed, and you have a trick of putting your squishy little finger over the witch or Cruella de Vil's face and saying "Opa scary!" with a giant grin on your mug. I'm excited to share my love of readign with you, and I'm so happy you are into Fiction (so far) instead of history book, like your Papa. My wish for you this month Angel is that you nurture your love of books and are able to use them as an escape, as a vacation, and as a learning tool throughout your life.
Kiddo, we're going to have so much fun this holiday season. We've already been to several pumpkin patches and a Halloween party, and you are so adorable in your kitty costume, though it's already filthy and needs to be washed...again. You have a small pile of pumpkins that you've picked up at each event, and which you periodically set around the house 'just so' or walk in your shopping cart. This weekend for your sister's babyshower will be a blast, seeing all you kids in costumes and playing games and getting hyped up off massive amounts of candy. We have a couple more HAlloween events until the big day, and as soon as I'm on leave from work we'll tear down Halloween and start working on Christmas, with lights and trees and decorations everywhere. Yes!
I love you my Sweet Girl. And thank you for being honest. Usually when I wear my hair down and curly you roar at me like a lion, but I got a very expensive, and very cute cut, and when I came home you ran your fingers through my hair and said "I like it." My Angel.
Love,
Mama
Last month you were much more into singing and dancing together, but it seems like the last few weeks you've only wanted to really sing. And sing. And sing. You sing in the bathtub, in your carseat, when I get you up from a nap you are typically awake in your toddler bed singing to Osito or a baby doll. It's awesome how well you know the words to songs, how you can hum the tune of your favorites, and how after you sing Happy Birthday (or insert part of it into another song) you blow out imaginary candles.
Speaking of toddler bed, you transitioned amazingly well to it. The first week was a piece of cake, though the second week we did have to set some limits on geting out of bed and you cried a few times when I left you in there, but for the last couple weeks you are excited to go to sleep, and even when we read books at night you want to sit in your bed, propped up with pillows like Mama does, and turn the pages yourself. And the only way I can leave is by singing ABC and Twinkle Twinkle, and I'm tripping because it took me 25 years to figure out that they have the same tune. Thanks Doll.
We've also moved on from board books to actual stories at night, 101 Dalmations, Winnie the Pooh and Snow White have been in rotation for the last week. It's much more interesting (for me) to read these than to recite your other books from memory with my eyes closed, and you have a trick of putting your squishy little finger over the witch or Cruella de Vil's face and saying "Opa scary!" with a giant grin on your mug. I'm excited to share my love of readign with you, and I'm so happy you are into Fiction (so far) instead of history book, like your Papa. My wish for you this month Angel is that you nurture your love of books and are able to use them as an escape, as a vacation, and as a learning tool throughout your life.
Kiddo, we're going to have so much fun this holiday season. We've already been to several pumpkin patches and a Halloween party, and you are so adorable in your kitty costume, though it's already filthy and needs to be washed...again. You have a small pile of pumpkins that you've picked up at each event, and which you periodically set around the house 'just so' or walk in your shopping cart. This weekend for your sister's babyshower will be a blast, seeing all you kids in costumes and playing games and getting hyped up off massive amounts of candy. We have a couple more HAlloween events until the big day, and as soon as I'm on leave from work we'll tear down Halloween and start working on Christmas, with lights and trees and decorations everywhere. Yes!
I love you my Sweet Girl. And thank you for being honest. Usually when I wear my hair down and curly you roar at me like a lion, but I got a very expensive, and very cute cut, and when I came home you ran your fingers through my hair and said "I like it." My Angel.
Love,
Mama
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