I was walking down the hallway at work a few minutes ago, and two people were standing in my way. They each had their back to the hallway and were facing into a cubicle and an office talking, so rather than interrupt two different conversations, I turned sideways to slip between them.
OOps.
Didn't think about the fact that I'm bigger front to back, than side to side.
July 29, 2008
July 20, 2008
Month Twenty-Five
Thirty minutes ago, we were outside in my parked car. I was cleaning old receipts and gym passes while you "organized" my car paperwork in the glove compartment and drew pictures. Twenty minutes ago, you were running out the back of the house, yelling for the dogs to come back inside and stop barking. Ten minutes ago, you called me "Mama china" (Mama cochina) when you thought I passed gas. And five minutes ago you crawled up into my lap as I was on the computer, and asked to watch You Tube. I started humming a song and rocking you, and within about 2 minutes, you laid your head on my shoulder, grabbed onto my pinky finger with your little hand, and fell asleep.
I can't imagine life getting any better than this.
We didn't get to see fireworks this year, as we have the past two years. They started around 9:30, but by 9:00 each night you were begging Papa and I to let you go to sleep. Quite a change from the little baby we brought home from the hospital who was awake from 11pm to 4am. Every night. For weeks. We did go to the fair though, and you were able to go on your first carnival ride, even though you were about 4 inches too short. Papa carried you on the train and sat with you, and you smiled to me each time you went around the circuit. You also won a red monkey playing the game where you shoot water into a little target, you sitting on Papa's lap, white-knuckled as you gripped the handle, and smiling like a clown when the Carnie offered your pick of stuffed animals.
This month we also went to an ultrasound to see your little sister. You were so well-behaved, even the sonographer was shocked that you sat so still for almost 15 minutes, munching on your popcorn and commenting on the baby pictures. "Wow" and "Baby aca" were the most frequent, and I don't think you got what we were really looking at until you saw her face and got so excited. You still kiss the pictures they gave us and now say "baby sister" when you see some of them.
Your sister has gotten into the habit of kicking you when we're sitting together, though I remember you kicking the dogs the same way when I was pregnant with you. You have been such a helper, and so understanding of Mama's energy and mood fluctuations. When I need to rest a bit, you are happy to entertain yourself, or just snuggle up with me a read yourself a book until the dizziness or fatigue passes. You've also started singing again, and request certain songs when you are going to sleep, or we are going for a walk. The best is "Twinkle, Twinkle" which you know most of the words to, and sing along with me. But it's a bad one to sing before bed, because we both end up cracking up by the end, at the sound of our duet.
Your two year check-up is tomorrow, so I don't know exactly how much you weight, but the scale at home sys 23.9 lbs, so we've done well the past few months. This month in particular, you've been wanting to eat quesadillas every day. And seriously, you'll have oatmeal for breakfast, three corn tortillas worth of quesadillas for lunch and dinner each, and oatmeal before bed. And massive amounts of fruit, especially since now after work we can go on a walk while we wait for Papa to get home, and pick blackberries from the bushes by our house. Though you call them 'popcorn' and I can see why, you are much neater this year eating them than you were last year. So my wish for you is that you remember these summer days picking blackberries and taking long walks, drawing with your chalk outside, and riding your little bike, and you remember what it was like to be a kid and not have the weight of the world on your little shoulders, like your Papa and I did when we were young.
But like I was saying, I can't imagine life with you getting any better. I know it will, you are more beautiful, intelligent, and loving, playful, kind, sweet, the best at hugs and kisses, and simply the most amazing little girl I have ever had the pleasure to know. I had no idea you'd be so much fun, I knew I'd love you but I never knew that I would like you so much! Thank you for choosing me to be your mama, I know I've said it before, but I feel blessed to have you in my life.
I love you,
Mama
I can't imagine life getting any better than this.
We didn't get to see fireworks this year, as we have the past two years. They started around 9:30, but by 9:00 each night you were begging Papa and I to let you go to sleep. Quite a change from the little baby we brought home from the hospital who was awake from 11pm to 4am. Every night. For weeks. We did go to the fair though, and you were able to go on your first carnival ride, even though you were about 4 inches too short. Papa carried you on the train and sat with you, and you smiled to me each time you went around the circuit. You also won a red monkey playing the game where you shoot water into a little target, you sitting on Papa's lap, white-knuckled as you gripped the handle, and smiling like a clown when the Carnie offered your pick of stuffed animals.
This month we also went to an ultrasound to see your little sister. You were so well-behaved, even the sonographer was shocked that you sat so still for almost 15 minutes, munching on your popcorn and commenting on the baby pictures. "Wow" and "Baby aca" were the most frequent, and I don't think you got what we were really looking at until you saw her face and got so excited. You still kiss the pictures they gave us and now say "baby sister" when you see some of them.
Your sister has gotten into the habit of kicking you when we're sitting together, though I remember you kicking the dogs the same way when I was pregnant with you. You have been such a helper, and so understanding of Mama's energy and mood fluctuations. When I need to rest a bit, you are happy to entertain yourself, or just snuggle up with me a read yourself a book until the dizziness or fatigue passes. You've also started singing again, and request certain songs when you are going to sleep, or we are going for a walk. The best is "Twinkle, Twinkle" which you know most of the words to, and sing along with me. But it's a bad one to sing before bed, because we both end up cracking up by the end, at the sound of our duet.
Your two year check-up is tomorrow, so I don't know exactly how much you weight, but the scale at home sys 23.9 lbs, so we've done well the past few months. This month in particular, you've been wanting to eat quesadillas every day. And seriously, you'll have oatmeal for breakfast, three corn tortillas worth of quesadillas for lunch and dinner each, and oatmeal before bed. And massive amounts of fruit, especially since now after work we can go on a walk while we wait for Papa to get home, and pick blackberries from the bushes by our house. Though you call them 'popcorn' and I can see why, you are much neater this year eating them than you were last year. So my wish for you is that you remember these summer days picking blackberries and taking long walks, drawing with your chalk outside, and riding your little bike, and you remember what it was like to be a kid and not have the weight of the world on your little shoulders, like your Papa and I did when we were young.
But like I was saying, I can't imagine life with you getting any better. I know it will, you are more beautiful, intelligent, and loving, playful, kind, sweet, the best at hugs and kisses, and simply the most amazing little girl I have ever had the pleasure to know. I had no idea you'd be so much fun, I knew I'd love you but I never knew that I would like you so much! Thank you for choosing me to be your mama, I know I've said it before, but I feel blessed to have you in my life.
I love you,
Mama
July 17, 2008
Doctor's Visit Today Was Good...
I’ve got a love/hate relationship with Google. On one hand, I love that fact that tons of information are at my fingertips, just waiting for an obscure idea to flit past my brain and lodge long enough for a little digging.
On the other hand, some of the stuff that you find can cause some serious panic to set in.
We found out on Tuesday that our ultrasound last week was abnormal. They had found a cyst on the baby’s kidney (and by the way, “Baby” is now “Frogger.” She looked like a little frog kicking around at the ultrasound today) and wanted me to come in asap for another scan and to speak to a genetic counselor.
I’ve been worthless the past few days. I couldn’t concentrate at work, I didn’t want to do anything but bake at home. I would snatch Boogie up in a bear hug for no reason as the tears streamed down my face, so grateful that I had my little girl there, and she was safe and happy and thriving, and simultaneously terrified that I might have to make a decision to terminate my pregnancy in the next few days.
See, Google told me that kidney cysts on a fetus could be nothing, or could be fatal. The doctor agreed, and though I knew the chances of Frogger having kidney disease in-utero was slim, there was still a chance. At least our worst case was ruled out today at the appointment, but we still don’t know exactly what this means.
Good news is there is only one cyst, and it looks like both kidneys are still functioning normally. I have to go back in 6 weeks for another scan to check the size of it, and there is a real possibility that Frogger will need surgery after she’s born to remove the cyst, but as long as she’s got one functioning kidney (and right now it looks like both are okay) then we should be good. The doctor said that this would be normal in a child or adult, but it is highly abnormal in a fetus.
And since there is nothing I can do about it, we’ll wait and see. Google did let me know that there are all kinds of treatments available, if needed, after Frogger is born, and that the prognosis is excellent since it has been caught so soon. I can’t even think about the bad stuff right now, dialysis or kidney transplants are not going to be floating around my head for the next 5 months, I can’t stress myself over something that I just don’t know yet. So hopefully this will be my last foray into this topic on Google, at least until my next appointment, and my last blog on the topic until Frogger is born and we find out what we need to do.
On the other hand, some of the stuff that you find can cause some serious panic to set in.
We found out on Tuesday that our ultrasound last week was abnormal. They had found a cyst on the baby’s kidney (and by the way, “Baby” is now “Frogger.” She looked like a little frog kicking around at the ultrasound today) and wanted me to come in asap for another scan and to speak to a genetic counselor.
I’ve been worthless the past few days. I couldn’t concentrate at work, I didn’t want to do anything but bake at home. I would snatch Boogie up in a bear hug for no reason as the tears streamed down my face, so grateful that I had my little girl there, and she was safe and happy and thriving, and simultaneously terrified that I might have to make a decision to terminate my pregnancy in the next few days.
See, Google told me that kidney cysts on a fetus could be nothing, or could be fatal. The doctor agreed, and though I knew the chances of Frogger having kidney disease in-utero was slim, there was still a chance. At least our worst case was ruled out today at the appointment, but we still don’t know exactly what this means.
Good news is there is only one cyst, and it looks like both kidneys are still functioning normally. I have to go back in 6 weeks for another scan to check the size of it, and there is a real possibility that Frogger will need surgery after she’s born to remove the cyst, but as long as she’s got one functioning kidney (and right now it looks like both are okay) then we should be good. The doctor said that this would be normal in a child or adult, but it is highly abnormal in a fetus.
And since there is nothing I can do about it, we’ll wait and see. Google did let me know that there are all kinds of treatments available, if needed, after Frogger is born, and that the prognosis is excellent since it has been caught so soon. I can’t even think about the bad stuff right now, dialysis or kidney transplants are not going to be floating around my head for the next 5 months, I can’t stress myself over something that I just don’t know yet. So hopefully this will be my last foray into this topic on Google, at least until my next appointment, and my last blog on the topic until Frogger is born and we find out what we need to do.
July 14, 2008
Booty Shakin' and Fake Ta-Ta's
There is a reason I don;t let Boogie watch mainstream TV. Some people think I'm overly strict, some think I'm just weird, but I know how impressionable little kids are. I know how impressionable even adults are, and I didn't want to subject my angel to any self-criticism at such a tender age. Think she's too young? Think again....
Last night, as I was cleaning up after dinner, P put MTV on so Boogie could listen to music and dance to wear herself out before her bath. She watched a couple videos, and we watched her, laughing along as she shook her little diaper-clad bottom, hands on her hips or twirling in the air above her head.
She was having a great time, but suddenly stopped and picked up a whiffle ball and a small fist-sized basketball that were lying near her feet. She had been watching a Fergie video, which was sexual, but not overly revealing, in my mind. Boogie, my sweet, perfect, two-year-old Angel put the balls up her shirt like fake chi-chi's and started dancing again! She even stood up on the bench of her table, imitating the girls dancing on the tables in the videos.
OMG!
When they started to slip, she asked me for help, and I had to pick her up and tell her she was perfect just the way she was, then insisted we go take her bath and stop dancing. Because really? I'm a bit disturbed that my 2 year old notices all the women on TV have their boobs hanging out, and is trying to make hers bigger.
Last night, as I was cleaning up after dinner, P put MTV on so Boogie could listen to music and dance to wear herself out before her bath. She watched a couple videos, and we watched her, laughing along as she shook her little diaper-clad bottom, hands on her hips or twirling in the air above her head.
She was having a great time, but suddenly stopped and picked up a whiffle ball and a small fist-sized basketball that were lying near her feet. She had been watching a Fergie video, which was sexual, but not overly revealing, in my mind. Boogie, my sweet, perfect, two-year-old Angel put the balls up her shirt like fake chi-chi's and started dancing again! She even stood up on the bench of her table, imitating the girls dancing on the tables in the videos.
OMG!
When they started to slip, she asked me for help, and I had to pick her up and tell her she was perfect just the way she was, then insisted we go take her bath and stop dancing. Because really? I'm a bit disturbed that my 2 year old notices all the women on TV have their boobs hanging out, and is trying to make hers bigger.
July 11, 2008
Sisters!
I had my "big ultrasound" yesterday and found out we have another baby girl on the way!
Yessssssss!
I was really thinking it was a boy, but a couple weeks ago I started wondering if I was just mentally preparing myself for a boy, since I wanted another girl so bad, or I assumed it was a boy because my symptoms were so different than with Taryn.
No matter, the tech said he was "high 90's" when asked how sure he was, so I'm seeing PINK today.
P is ... not so happy. But he'll get over it, just like he did with Taryn, and be wrappd around her little finger within minutes of being born.
I'm beyond the moon with joy right now. As soon as I found out Taryn was a girl, I started dreaming about her having a sister. And now I have leverage for #3, if I want to try again (but don't tell P I said that!)
Yessssssss!
I was really thinking it was a boy, but a couple weeks ago I started wondering if I was just mentally preparing myself for a boy, since I wanted another girl so bad, or I assumed it was a boy because my symptoms were so different than with Taryn.
No matter, the tech said he was "high 90's" when asked how sure he was, so I'm seeing PINK today.
P is ... not so happy. But he'll get over it, just like he did with Taryn, and be wrappd around her little finger within minutes of being born.
I'm beyond the moon with joy right now. As soon as I found out Taryn was a girl, I started dreaming about her having a sister. And now I have leverage for #3, if I want to try again (but don't tell P I said that!)
July 9, 2008
The belt tightening is starting to infring on my pregnant belly.
Honestly, I feel lucky though, because we are not on the verge of losing our house, we have enough food, and can still afford gas for two cars. But those extras are gone, less eating out (sorry Figlet), less clothes (for those of us not growing four inches per year), and no vacation on the horizon.
This will sound stupid, because it's the opposite for many people, but our Stupid Spending of the last two years? That turned out to be out insulation from this whole economic crisis we've been thrown into.
Our budget is basically this:
Gross Income - Retirement, Taxes and Insurance = Net Income
Then,
Net Income - Monthly Bills - Food, Gas and Essentials = Disposable Income
Therefore,
Dispoable Income = What Gets Paid on the Credit Cards
Get it?
We've been dropping hundreds of dollars per month on our credit card bills to try to get them paid off sometime in the next year or so, since we were contemplating upgrading to a bigger house. But lately, we've been spending more on the "Food, Gas and Essentials" which means less on the credit cards, but really, we're still paying much more than the minimums each month.
So in a stupid, roundabout, and not entirely logical way, we haven't been affected so much by all this turmoil, except that it's going to take longer than anticipated to get out of debt. But really, doesn't it always?
This is my way of saying that I am very thankful that we made mostly sound financial decisions for the past few years and I feel lucky that we aren't struggling as so many others are right now. Things are tight, but things are always tight with us. A big squeeze has been that P's grandparents aren't working anymore due to crap health issues, so we are sending them money every month so they can buy food, etc. We had been supporting Jojo for the past year and a half, and the girl can eat! So there was another drain, not including what it cost us to get her up here, and our latest trip to Paraguay. Childcare, student loans, savings for maternity leave... it all adds up very quickly, but we have a plan, and that's all I can ask for.
I'm just seeing more and more self-employed people applying for benefits because they are filing bankruptcy, more and more homeowners who are losing their homes, young parents who can't affors insurance for their kids, older folks who needs medications and treatments, but can't afford thier own insurance premiums and copays.... it goes on and on. I try to stay positive, Obama will be able to turn things around for those who really need the help right now.
And that's all for this morning's rant. Thanks for tuning in!
Honestly, I feel lucky though, because we are not on the verge of losing our house, we have enough food, and can still afford gas for two cars. But those extras are gone, less eating out (sorry Figlet), less clothes (for those of us not growing four inches per year), and no vacation on the horizon.
This will sound stupid, because it's the opposite for many people, but our Stupid Spending of the last two years? That turned out to be out insulation from this whole economic crisis we've been thrown into.
Our budget is basically this:
Gross Income - Retirement, Taxes and Insurance = Net Income
Then,
Net Income - Monthly Bills - Food, Gas and Essentials = Disposable Income
Therefore,
Dispoable Income = What Gets Paid on the Credit Cards
Get it?
We've been dropping hundreds of dollars per month on our credit card bills to try to get them paid off sometime in the next year or so, since we were contemplating upgrading to a bigger house. But lately, we've been spending more on the "Food, Gas and Essentials" which means less on the credit cards, but really, we're still paying much more than the minimums each month.
So in a stupid, roundabout, and not entirely logical way, we haven't been affected so much by all this turmoil, except that it's going to take longer than anticipated to get out of debt. But really, doesn't it always?
This is my way of saying that I am very thankful that we made mostly sound financial decisions for the past few years and I feel lucky that we aren't struggling as so many others are right now. Things are tight, but things are always tight with us. A big squeeze has been that P's grandparents aren't working anymore due to crap health issues, so we are sending them money every month so they can buy food, etc. We had been supporting Jojo for the past year and a half, and the girl can eat! So there was another drain, not including what it cost us to get her up here, and our latest trip to Paraguay. Childcare, student loans, savings for maternity leave... it all adds up very quickly, but we have a plan, and that's all I can ask for.
I'm just seeing more and more self-employed people applying for benefits because they are filing bankruptcy, more and more homeowners who are losing their homes, young parents who can't affors insurance for their kids, older folks who needs medications and treatments, but can't afford thier own insurance premiums and copays.... it goes on and on. I try to stay positive, Obama will be able to turn things around for those who really need the help right now.
And that's all for this morning's rant. Thanks for tuning in!
July 5, 2008
The Faith of a Mustard Seed
Today sucked.
I was up at 6:30, even though Boogie was still sleeping. His side of the bed was cold. He slept downstairs of his own volition, pissed off about something I had said the night before. But it was true. He's been home every night when she goes to sleep, aside from a handful of times, and I don't think he's done her book routine for the past year. He never wants to, and I gave up fighting him to do it. Like other things in her life that he knows nothing about, it's his own fault that he doesn't take the time.
He didn't like hearing that.
So Boogie and I went to the store, and couldn't find a single 10x13 frame. And we needed two for her photos. We had fun shopping though, rummaging at Target and Ross, but ended up getting back late and found Nana waiting outside for us. Second person that day my lack of awareness affected.
I was running late for the vet appointment but didn't stress too much because you usually have to wait at least 30 minutes to be seen. When I got there, I left a note that we were on time, and took them out for a nice long walk, strolling for about 30 minutes while soaking up the sun and just relaxing with my two babies.
When we got back, I put them in the car with the AC on, and went back in to check how long until their visit. Nobody was available, so I went back outside, since I had already asked for them to call me and tell me when to come inside. Then I realized that the clicker for my car doesn't work when the car is on. And the dogs were locked inside.
Third and fourth beings I screwed over today.
Called Nana, she left Boogie with a friend and came to try to help. We ended up calling that friend to come with her AAA to get the caar unlocked, and by then, it had already been about 45 minutes. So Nana put Boogie to sleep, and the friend and I chatted in the sun, a nice distraction from the f'ed up situation I was in, until she tripped over a rock, fell, and broke her arm.
FUCK. Fifth person that ended up in a worse situation...because of me.
While debating if I should call an ambulance or drive her to the ER in her car (while on hold with 911), the tow truck shows up and unlocks the door. Good for me, but then I have to drive her to Kaiser ER and I feel shitty for the whole situation, and for the fact that I can't go in and wait because I still have the dogs in the car, and we figured it would be better if Nana went to wait with her, and I went home to Boogie.
When I got home from the ER at 2, the vet's office called to say they were ready to see us. My appointment had been for 11:30. I'm looking for a new vet.
I was scared to leave the house to go grocery shopping, no idea what was in store for me next. So I took a short nap, got Boogie up, played and ate, and things were going okay until P comes home, obviously still pissed and makes a really shit comment how I should have been apologizing to the friend, since none of it would have happened if I hadn't locked the dogs in the car. And I had been, but him saying that broke me and I ended up in tears, cleaning the house in a blind rage so I didn't rip him a new one for being insensitive.
Now Boogie is still crying, not wanting to sleep. She dumped her sippy cup out in the crib. It's warm, I'm agitated but don't want to go downstairs near that man who I married. I had faith it would all be okay, and for me it was, but it seems like I made a lot of other people's lives hell today. Which, for me, is worse than if I had been locked in the car, then fell and broke my own arm.
I was up at 6:30, even though Boogie was still sleeping. His side of the bed was cold. He slept downstairs of his own volition, pissed off about something I had said the night before. But it was true. He's been home every night when she goes to sleep, aside from a handful of times, and I don't think he's done her book routine for the past year. He never wants to, and I gave up fighting him to do it. Like other things in her life that he knows nothing about, it's his own fault that he doesn't take the time.
He didn't like hearing that.
So Boogie and I went to the store, and couldn't find a single 10x13 frame. And we needed two for her photos. We had fun shopping though, rummaging at Target and Ross, but ended up getting back late and found Nana waiting outside for us. Second person that day my lack of awareness affected.
I was running late for the vet appointment but didn't stress too much because you usually have to wait at least 30 minutes to be seen. When I got there, I left a note that we were on time, and took them out for a nice long walk, strolling for about 30 minutes while soaking up the sun and just relaxing with my two babies.
When we got back, I put them in the car with the AC on, and went back in to check how long until their visit. Nobody was available, so I went back outside, since I had already asked for them to call me and tell me when to come inside. Then I realized that the clicker for my car doesn't work when the car is on. And the dogs were locked inside.
Third and fourth beings I screwed over today.
Called Nana, she left Boogie with a friend and came to try to help. We ended up calling that friend to come with her AAA to get the caar unlocked, and by then, it had already been about 45 minutes. So Nana put Boogie to sleep, and the friend and I chatted in the sun, a nice distraction from the f'ed up situation I was in, until she tripped over a rock, fell, and broke her arm.
FUCK. Fifth person that ended up in a worse situation...because of me.
While debating if I should call an ambulance or drive her to the ER in her car (while on hold with 911), the tow truck shows up and unlocks the door. Good for me, but then I have to drive her to Kaiser ER and I feel shitty for the whole situation, and for the fact that I can't go in and wait because I still have the dogs in the car, and we figured it would be better if Nana went to wait with her, and I went home to Boogie.
When I got home from the ER at 2, the vet's office called to say they were ready to see us. My appointment had been for 11:30. I'm looking for a new vet.
I was scared to leave the house to go grocery shopping, no idea what was in store for me next. So I took a short nap, got Boogie up, played and ate, and things were going okay until P comes home, obviously still pissed and makes a really shit comment how I should have been apologizing to the friend, since none of it would have happened if I hadn't locked the dogs in the car. And I had been, but him saying that broke me and I ended up in tears, cleaning the house in a blind rage so I didn't rip him a new one for being insensitive.
Now Boogie is still crying, not wanting to sleep. She dumped her sippy cup out in the crib. It's warm, I'm agitated but don't want to go downstairs near that man who I married. I had faith it would all be okay, and for me it was, but it seems like I made a lot of other people's lives hell today. Which, for me, is worse than if I had been locked in the car, then fell and broke my own arm.
July 3, 2008
Month Twenty-Four
Happy Second Birthday my Love!
I've been looking at your photos for the last year, and although you look pretty much similar, your personality has blossomed into the most delightfully loving, funny, intelligent little girl I have had the pleasure of knowing. If I knew a year (and a week) ago that you would be this fun to be around, I may have wished away your infancy so that I could revel longer in this amazing period of discovery for you.
Just in the last month, you've learned to count to 10 in Spanish and English, and you know your body parts in English, Spanish, and everything from the neck-up (including eyebrows) in Guarani. You can match colors, you can name a hundred different objects that I don't remember even teaching you, and you mimic phrases, like "Oy!" that you learned from Mama, and "Tira pedo" that your lovely father taught you when you passed gas.
Sometimes I am just mesmerized watching you play, so imaginative, and I wonder what you are thinking. Your favorite lately is playing doctor with your stethescope from "Boo-boo Rescue" and you'll examine any injury anyone reports having, including a kiss to make it better. And you're willing to treat anyone, or anything, even strangers and animals. A lovely change from a year ago when you were more comfortable in Mama's arms, just observing the world around you.
One thing that people are continually amazed at is your tolerance for pain. On my birthday, you were outside playing with you cousins and fell and skinned both knees pretty badly while running. You did cry, but as soon as you were in my arms, you asked for Boo-boo- Rescue, and were tearless as I cleaned you knees, put antibacterial spray on them, and bandaged them up. And as soon as you were patched up, you were ready to play some more. Your Aunts and Uncles could not believe how the tears stopped the minute Boo-boo Rescue came out, and kept commenting how your older cousins would still cry like little babies with ouchies like yours. And yet, it didn't seem to phase you as soon as we were making it better.
Angel, I just have to keep telling you how much fun I have going out to play. In the last year, you have gone from timid and shaky on the playground to a complete monkey-nut. The minute we get there, you are either pulling me up the stairs to go down the slide with you, or running off any playing with the older girls, whom you had never met before, but all of them absolutely adore helping you climb up to play, and catching you at the bottom of the slide. Now, we can go on walks too, with you pushing the baby stroller I got you for your birthday, and stopping to pick flowers for your Tia and Jojo.
I can't wait to be able to take you to the Aquarium in Monterrey as well. I know you'll love seeing the "mish" and touching the animals there. But whenever I start to wish ahead of your life, I have to stop myself and remember to enjoy this age fully, because you will never ever be here again. And when I get sentimental about you growing older, you'll surpise me and fall asleep on the bed as I'm holding you, or run up and give me a big hug and kiss, and tell me you love me. You melt my heart.
My wish for you this month is that you are never afraid to express your emotions. I could go into the details and the whys of this wish, but suffice to say it's taken me a long time to figure out my relationship with the world, and for all my faults and issues, I think I've been able to salvage that core of my being because I was able to express to others how I was feeling. In most situations.
Okay, I know this letter is for you, about you, and only you, but I love how you've reacted thus far to me being pregnant too. I think a year ago you may not have been okay with it, but now when you see my bely you say "Hi Baby" and peer into my bellybutton, maybe hoping to catch a glimpse? You'll rub my stomach when we're sitting on the couch reading a book and say "Titi's baby," or "Good girl," and you are quick to bestow hugs and kisses to my bellybutton. I hope you love your Little this much after it is born, and I think you'll be very excited to see the ultrasound in a couple weeks. You may not be too stoked to share your room, but you've become so easygoing in the last year that I really don't anticipate too many problems. Aside from sleeping arrangements.
Boogie, I love you. I don't think you will understand until you have your own child how much your heart can swell looking at your offspring, but one day you will understand, and I'll be right there with you bawling, I'm sure. Happy Birthday my Angel.
Love,
Mama
I've been looking at your photos for the last year, and although you look pretty much similar, your personality has blossomed into the most delightfully loving, funny, intelligent little girl I have had the pleasure of knowing. If I knew a year (and a week) ago that you would be this fun to be around, I may have wished away your infancy so that I could revel longer in this amazing period of discovery for you.
Just in the last month, you've learned to count to 10 in Spanish and English, and you know your body parts in English, Spanish, and everything from the neck-up (including eyebrows) in Guarani. You can match colors, you can name a hundred different objects that I don't remember even teaching you, and you mimic phrases, like "Oy!" that you learned from Mama, and "Tira pedo" that your lovely father taught you when you passed gas.
Sometimes I am just mesmerized watching you play, so imaginative, and I wonder what you are thinking. Your favorite lately is playing doctor with your stethescope from "Boo-boo Rescue" and you'll examine any injury anyone reports having, including a kiss to make it better. And you're willing to treat anyone, or anything, even strangers and animals. A lovely change from a year ago when you were more comfortable in Mama's arms, just observing the world around you.
One thing that people are continually amazed at is your tolerance for pain. On my birthday, you were outside playing with you cousins and fell and skinned both knees pretty badly while running. You did cry, but as soon as you were in my arms, you asked for Boo-boo- Rescue, and were tearless as I cleaned you knees, put antibacterial spray on them, and bandaged them up. And as soon as you were patched up, you were ready to play some more. Your Aunts and Uncles could not believe how the tears stopped the minute Boo-boo Rescue came out, and kept commenting how your older cousins would still cry like little babies with ouchies like yours. And yet, it didn't seem to phase you as soon as we were making it better.
Angel, I just have to keep telling you how much fun I have going out to play. In the last year, you have gone from timid and shaky on the playground to a complete monkey-nut. The minute we get there, you are either pulling me up the stairs to go down the slide with you, or running off any playing with the older girls, whom you had never met before, but all of them absolutely adore helping you climb up to play, and catching you at the bottom of the slide. Now, we can go on walks too, with you pushing the baby stroller I got you for your birthday, and stopping to pick flowers for your Tia and Jojo.
I can't wait to be able to take you to the Aquarium in Monterrey as well. I know you'll love seeing the "mish" and touching the animals there. But whenever I start to wish ahead of your life, I have to stop myself and remember to enjoy this age fully, because you will never ever be here again. And when I get sentimental about you growing older, you'll surpise me and fall asleep on the bed as I'm holding you, or run up and give me a big hug and kiss, and tell me you love me. You melt my heart.
My wish for you this month is that you are never afraid to express your emotions. I could go into the details and the whys of this wish, but suffice to say it's taken me a long time to figure out my relationship with the world, and for all my faults and issues, I think I've been able to salvage that core of my being because I was able to express to others how I was feeling. In most situations.
Okay, I know this letter is for you, about you, and only you, but I love how you've reacted thus far to me being pregnant too. I think a year ago you may not have been okay with it, but now when you see my bely you say "Hi Baby" and peer into my bellybutton, maybe hoping to catch a glimpse? You'll rub my stomach when we're sitting on the couch reading a book and say "Titi's baby," or "Good girl," and you are quick to bestow hugs and kisses to my bellybutton. I hope you love your Little this much after it is born, and I think you'll be very excited to see the ultrasound in a couple weeks. You may not be too stoked to share your room, but you've become so easygoing in the last year that I really don't anticipate too many problems. Aside from sleeping arrangements.
Boogie, I love you. I don't think you will understand until you have your own child how much your heart can swell looking at your offspring, but one day you will understand, and I'll be right there with you bawling, I'm sure. Happy Birthday my Angel.
Love,
Mama
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