I Trust Myself, Why Can't Others Do the Same?

I'm really sick of feeling like I have to justify my actions to others. Taryn is my daughter, why do people feel like they have a say in how I raise her?

I know I shouldn't let it bother me, I should take the good advice I hear and just ignore the rest, but it irks me. Especailly when P questions what I'm doing. Like on the plane flying back from Chicago yesterday.

Taryn was crying. I knew she was just tired, but he kept insisting that she was hungry, and so I tried nursing her just so he'd get off my case. When she started crying more hysterically, I told him again that she was just tired and suggested he walk with her a bit. But of course he wasn't able to calm her down after that so I took her back, and she fell asleep within minutes.

Now some folks feel real warm and fuzzy that they are the only ones who can soothe their children. But me, I'm annoyed. I try to give P opportunities to soothe her, rock her to sleep, bathe her and everything, but when it comes down to it, when she's even a touch more than mildly upset, he can't do it.

I tell him consistency is the key, that he can't do it now because he didn't try when she was a newborn. And even now he only puts her to sleep once or twice a week, and only sees her for an hour or so most workdays. But he gets frustrated that he can't do it as fast as I can, and he gives up.

And the messed up part of it all, is that when she's really having a fit at home I try to let him handle it, but then he guilt-trips me into taking her back saying things like " You're just going to sit there and let your baby suffer?" And "How can you hear your baby cry and not do anything?" But then when he can't soothe her he gets pissed off saying that I always take her from him too soon and don't give him a chance to learn what she likes.

And on top of that, I feel like he's sabotoging my efforts to get her to sleep on her own, and to get her on an eating schedule of every 3 hours instead of every two. Because I keep telling him (and showing him) that she needs to be put in her crib while she's still awake so she can learn to sleep herself, but whenever he puts her down, he does it when she's in a deep pskeep because he says she wakes up right away if she isn't. And every time she starts to fuss, his first reaction is to bring her to me and say she's hungry. Not even comprehending that she nurses for comfort at night and in the evening before bed, even though I've explained it many, many times.

Aaaarrrrggghhh.

This post wasn't supposed to be about him, and how frustrated I am with his lack of parenting skills, and more-so with his lack of desire to learn any new skills. But I guess that's what I'm ruminating on tonight. And compounded with my lack of sleep, I'm really surprised things aren't uglier than they are....

Oh well, better out than in, right?