Introvert

As much as I like meeting new people, I'm an introvert at heart.

I've taken that test, the one that says whether you are an introvert or extrovert, intuitive or ... I really don't remember. But for years I believed I was an extrovert because that test, just a touch on the slow-to-warm-up side.

Then my last semester at SSU, I took a Jungian class and took that test again, and it said I was an introvert. I think the difference was that I finally realized that as much as I enjoy going out and partying with friends, when I was feeling really crappy the thing that rejuvenated me was being alone and clearing up my thoughts so that I could go out again and focus on others.

Now, when I'm depressed, that's different. In those times I know I need to get out so I'm not stuck all alone in my head. I know myself well enough to realize that I spiral downward when I'm depressed and all by my lonesome, but in general, just to recharge myself after being out and expending energy, there's nothing better than 30 minutes with a cup of coffee and a book. Not even a good book is necessary, just something to read.

And I think I'm okay with that. I kind of have an excuse now, that since only Pedro or I can be out at once because we don't have many people that are willing and able to watch Taryn at any given time. But aside form those times she's really fussy and not wanting to sleep, I don't mind being the one at home by myself to watch her. I feel like I've matured enough to not have to follow the crowd, to not force myself to go out when I really don't want to or can't afford it.

The flip side though is that I'm shitty at keeping in touch. If I don't see you on a regular basis without effort, like at work, or school, or a coffee shop or something, I have the awful habit of completely losing touch with people. And part of that is my adhorrence of phones. But another part is when I'm in my me-zone, I just forget anyone else exists (besides my baby, of course) and then when so much time has passed without calling or writing, then I feel bad for losing touch and figure if you really wanted to talk, you'd call.

And of course, my friends probably all think the same thing.

I don't know where this is going. I'm home tonight while P is out drinking. I was going to make a cup of pomegranate white tea and go read my book, but thought I'd blog a bit first. Gotta stay in the habit even when I have nothing coherent to blog about.

So that's all. And if you are reading this and you're one of those people that I've lost touch with, I'm sure I still love you. Just gimme a call, okay?