Thump, Bump, Bump.

Taryn fell off the bed this morning.

I was in the bathroom getting ready for work like every other day. P was in the bed her dozing, and before I had gotten out I told him to watch the baby, like every other day.

Then I hear this sickening thump on the floor. My first thought was it was the dogs jumping off the bed, but they are much more quiet since they weigh so much less than her, and I usually hear their nails on clicking as they walk.

I opened the door to the bathroom and started walking to the edge of the bed. For some reason I knew she had fallen off, and my biggest concern was to make sure I got to her before he did to make sure if she was injured, he didn't make it worse.

He was still getting out of the bed by the time I was picking her up. She wailed for a couple minutes, a good sign in my book that she wasn't unconscious or in shock, then rested her head on my shoulder and started babbling away.

She's got a red bump the size of a quarter on the side of her forehead.

And I wanted to kill P.

I can't fathom how he could fall back asleep so quickly and not realize that she was crawling off the edge of the bed. I keep asking myself why didn't he have his arm around her? Why was he not paying attention? What would I have done if she was seriously injured?

I did call Kaiser, which was pointless. I already knew what she told me, watch to make sure she's not more sleepy than normal, wake her up every hour to make sure she's responsive, take her to the ER if she starts vomiting or one pupil dilates or she's only moving one side of her body. And get this, the advice nurse asks me, "Does she have any slurred speech or have trouble walking?" Like, really? REALLY? You're going to ask me that about a nine month old? I had to tell her I wasn't sure since she didn't walk or talk yet, and she's like "I guess you don't know if she has a headache or blurred vision either, huh?" No, sorry.

So anyway, I'm sure she's fine. She's a heardy little beast, but I pulled out my reference book and had P and Johana both read it to make sure they knew what to look for. I trust myself to recognize if she's acting differently, but I don't trust either of them nearly as much. I should, but incidents liek this are exactly why I don't trust P to watch her.

I did curse him out for a good 5 minutes as I held Taryn and rocked her in my arms. Probably not the best idea with her in the middle of us, but I was so scared, I was shaking, and I didn't know how else in the moment to get it out. I'm sure he's beating himself up more right now than I ever could, so I'm laying off and letting him handle the punishment for being irresponsible. He stayed home from work today to watch her. Overkill, I think, but I'm glad he offered.

So anyway. First real fall. One first I could do without, I think.