May 2, 2007

Nothing Sweeter in the World

My favorite part of the day is right between 4:28 and 4:42. Just before I leave work, I am so excited to go home to see Taryn. My heart starts beating a little faster, jokes are a bit more funny, my steps just that much quicker.

As soon as I open the door and see her face, all the stress of the day melts away. As soon as her eyes and mine meet, and she gets a huge toothy grin on her face, raises her arms up to me and I swoop her up in a soul-soothing hug, I can't imagine anywhere else in the world I'd rather be, or any other person that I could possibly love that much.

I love snuggling in her wrinkly old-man neck, that smells like lavender from her bath the night before, and dried veggies from lunch, sometimes spit-up or dog... but on her it's this magical mix of scents that clear my mind of distractions and focus me on the intense loveliness of the moment.

And holding her cold toes in my hand while she tries to rip out my earrings or nose ring, pulls my baby hairs, or yanks my shirt up to my forehead like, "Mama, hurry up and get this crap off so I can eat!" Really. I can't think of a more pleasant, calming, restorative few minutes than right when I get home.

I see why kids have to break their parents' hearts. If Taryn agreed, I'd probably nurse her until she was married, have her sleep with me at night until she had her own kids, and stop by daily for snuggles and hugs until I was laid in my grave.

The most intense feeling of my life is this right here. The love for my child. This is what I've been searching for my entire life, through drugs, alcohol, partying... Nothing can compare to the pure bliss I feel when I see my T-Boogie.

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