On the Road to Jadedness

Should I be offended or pleased that people keep attacking my age?

One the one hand, I have to laugh, because when clients are mad at me, or mad at the program rules, they chalk it up to me being young, inexperienced with life, or the fact that they are parents (and don't know that I am as well). I suppose I should be pleased that they aren't saying I'm stupid, or unknowledgeable about the programs, or ugly for that matter, but really? Why does everything have to come down to age?

And not to be a complete asshole, but are they really just mad that at my age I'm holding down a steady job while they are the ones applying for assistance?

I don't like to think like that. I know that one major event could easily land me in this office in need of food and money to take care of my child. I don't like to think that there is a huge disparity between myself and my clients, or that I am any better than they are. Because if I felt that, I wouldn't be effective in my job. I can't walk around thinking we're different, I think that's how people get jaded here, by the assumption that it could never happen to them, and its these peoples' fault for the situation that they are in.

And sometimes it is. But many times mental illness or alcohol and drug abuse that got them here. And though I don't understand addiction, I can still see that obviously it has a major influnence on people's actions and isn't as hard to overcome as I may like to think.

But once again I have to mention the entitled folks, the ones who used to be where I am, and now are who I am determining benefits for. Would I be like that? Would I raise hell and swear to high heaven that I deserve benefits because I've been paying takes for 10 years? I may want to, but I hope I would be a bit more humble. And at the same time I can't imagine how people feel when they are denied for their kids. I think I could handle it if I didn't get anything, but why should T-Boog suffer? That being said though, most of the people who say I'm too young to understand what they are going through are single without kids.

But being subjected to verbal abuse and really having no recourse but to walk away does take it's toll. I notice how grateful I am for motivated clients, and people who understand that what I'm doing is not personal. If they are ineligible, it's not because I don't like them or beleive their story, it's because the government says they don't qualify. And I notice how irritated and angry I get sometimes with people who want me to bend the rules for them. Who want to skip the steps everyone else has to go through and just get what they want.

"Sorry Sir, it doesn't work like that."

Because really? A single guy, educated or skilled, getting help from family and friends is going to be much better off than a single parent of an infant who didn't graduate high school. If I could bend the rules, who would I do it for?

***

On a completely unrelated topic, I've figured out why parents take so much more time off from work. It's not because we have to stay home with our sick kids, or we catch infectious, contagious diseases from them, it's because we'd much rather stay home and play with those lights of our lives, than sit in an office thinking about them all day long since we haev nothing productive to do at work.

I'm pretty positive.