And then this one time....

I still remember my brother lamenting years ago, "Why can't he just be real with me? Who the hell does he think I am, some sidekick friend?"

We had been discussing a friend of his who wasn't doing well. This guy is someone we had both grown up with, and whom he used to be very close to, but due to a stint in jail and some broken bones, he hadn't seen him in a while. My brother was always pissed that people would be fake with him, when he asked "How are you," they would just reply "Fine, you?"

As I walk around the office and overhear, nay eavesdrop, on my coworkers conversations, I am shocked at how often I hear the same stories being repeated verbatim. The same exclamations, the same quotes, everything the same. And it's even worse when I've had a conversation with a person, and then I overhear them working what I had said into their conversation, as if it were their own words.

I'm not so narcisstic to think that the people that I converse with are only taking to me, it's an unrealistic thought, and frankly I don't want to be someone's sole source of venting. But honestly, I'm starting to feel like my brother and wondering how real are the conversations that I share with people, when they say the exact same thing to someone else 5 minutes later. Do people want eveeryone to know so much about them, or am I getting the same canned conversation that everyone else gets?

It's not everyone, but it's often enough to make me wonder why I make the effort to have genuine talks with people. When people ask how the baby is, I'll tell them the latest news, or how her night was yesterday, or something cute she did this morning. But I make an effort to be real, to tell people what's really going on, and to tailor it to their personality, as I relate to them. I try very hard not to have canned responses to people, and maybe that's why I'm not a social butterfly. Maybe if I faked it more, instead of trying to really be present when I am with someone (and of course, on the flip side of that, I am not-so-chatty when I am not feeling well), I would be more agreeable to them?

I guess if there was one "right" way to interact, we'd all be doing it. I am constantly amazed at how people change depending on the sitiation, especially to see how they act in different groups of people. I think it normal and quite functional to alter your personality slightly to accommodate your surroundings, and I don't know where this musing on conversation fits in there, but it's definitely fascinating to me. Like, do they realize what they are doing? Do I do the same thing? How has this action come about? What is it's evolutionary purpose? Is telling the same thing to multiple people some sort of processing mechanism, or is it simply a way to bond? What about when you tell the same thing over and over to someone, what is the purpose of that?

I don't know, but my head hurts, and my back hurts and I'm bored. Maybe I should go tell someone?