Shame

Have I mentioned lately that I have ... none?

Childbirth is one of those experiences that is not for the meek. Aside from having a doctor check weekly for a month how dilated you are, when you actually go into labor, depending on the medications you receive, you could have three of four different staff people checking your goodies for the better part of a day.

Then there's pushing the baby out, when you give everyone within ten feet of you a free show (not particularly attractive, I'm guessing) and then after the birth you may or may not need help going to the restroom. And they check you for "friends" on your backside, they check how much you are bleeding, and change your pads for you...

(Let's stop for a second and consider something) If the average newborn's head is 13.5 centimeters in circumference, why in the hell does your cervix only dilate to 10 centimeters? Hmmmmm...

So anyway, I met a new friend who has a son that is just a week younger than Taryn. We've met for coffee a couple of times and discussed everything childbirth and newborn related. When I was recapping our meetings with P, he got this strangely horrified look on his face.

I guess he didn't think it was normal for women who barely know each other to discuss the state of their post-birth goodies, how breastfeeding is working and all the other things only mothers would consider discussing with a stranger.

And now that I think about it, it's kind of true. It is weird, and before I had Taryn I never would have considered doing that, but it's one of those awesome ways that mothers can relate to each other. Because even pregnant I totally bonded with a lot of other pregnant sisters while we discussed doctor's appointments, fears, expectations, partners' hopes and screw-ups, and everything to do with babies.

And it reminds me of how important it is to have a community that you can go to when you are going through such an amazing experience, because I learned so much from all my friends who have had kids, or who were pregnant with me. I can't imagine people trying to do it alone, and I'm so grateful to all the mothers who gave me advice, and all the friends who let me bitch and complain about my aches and pains, and the people who made me eat every couple hours, and drink lots of water, and who warned me about interns and peri bottles...

And by the way, on the shame thing, I think it is so natural and beautiful for women to breastfeed, and screw everyone who doesn't want to see that in public. If my kid is hungry, you can stand to see my chi-chi's for a second. I don't see why it's such a big deal when every F-N advertisement has half-naked women with their boobs hanging out. For some reason it's wrong when there's a hungry baby hanging off the other end of them? I think our society has it a bit twisted, in regards to naked boobs. But more on that later...

So anyway, shame? I have none. At all.