Cried Myself to Sleep

Ohmigod.

I am so torn.

I know I have to go back to work. We can't afford our house if I don't, but I'm heartbroken at the thought of leaving my little Angel with a stranger.

I know she's going to be okay, and I'll be crying when it happens, not her.

But I feel like I just want to curl up and die right now.

I have to set my intention now, while it's fresh and painful and clear.

The relationship is what is most important at this age. I don't care about the high-tech toys and circle time and all that. I just want someone to love her half as much as I do, and to make sure she knows how special she is, and not stifle her creativity.

I can't breathe.

I can't stop the tears.

I don't know if I can do this ...