Golden Showers

It's one thing to pee on yourself.

Or to get a little piddle on your shoe from an over-excited puppy.

Or Golden Showers from your partner, if you like it like that.

(In a totally non-sexual way, let me say I have been thisclose to being tinkled on by P. Let's just say alcohol, target practice, and laziness are a dangerous combination.)

But for some reason, I was totally shocked to get hosed off by Taryn last night.

See, when one of us gets her bath ready, the other usually takes off her jammies and diaper, gets the towel ready, you know, that parental teamwork stuff. So P was running water in her infant tub in the sink last night, and I after I took all her stuff off, I was holding her for all of like a minute without a diaper on, waiting for him to get the water the right temperature.

And I start to feel water dripping down my arm.

My first thought was that she drooled, or spit or something. I've been puked on, smeared by runny snot and boogers, and fallen victim to a dangerously full diaper, but never once, before last night, had she ever peed on me.

So I look down, and there is all this water on the floor. And then nasty-ass Rosco starts licking it up!

I almost up-chucked. Really.

I've seen her pee without a diaper on before. When she was real little, if we took too long to lotion her up after her bath, she'd usually let it dribble a bit. And one time when I was getting her bath ready up in our bathroom, P was letting her walk around without a dipaer on and she tinkled on our floor.

But this was a first for me.

So of course I freaked out. Making those "I'm about to ralf" faces, handed her off to her Papa, and ran upstairs to take a scalding hot shower with lots of soap and wash it all away. Kind of the same way I react now when I have to change a poopy diaper. I wish she could have been breast-fed until she was out of diapers, because they are the most foul smelling, disgusting consistency, straight up nasty-est things I have ever had to deal with in my long, experienced life.

Yeck.

Anyway, I survived. Maybe next time it won't be such a big deal. But damn, she freaked me out there for a minute.