Ebb and Flow

Sometimes we click, sometimes we don't. More often than not lately, it seems like we're strangers. That the calls and the emails are obligatory. We plan to get together but then something always comes up and we're left exactly where we started.

It's to be expected. We're in different places now. When we first met, we had so much in common. Over the years we've both grown into independent adults. I've gotten married and had a child. You are on your way to the same, but squeezing the last bit of freedom out before it happens. It's to be expected.

We both have new friends. Your friends go out and party, travel, they don't have families to come home to, mortgages to pay. My friends are more home-bound and I know it's boring for you, and I'm sorry for that, but I've partied all my life. Now I'm doing the same in a new way. I have to be near my baby. I won't waste time getting ready to go out, or being so hungover the next day that I can't enjoy my time with her. You don't have the same worries I do. It's to be expected.

People grow apart in life, sometimes they grow back together. As much as I'd love to flow with you, seems we're at a lull. We have different lives, different priorities. You won't let me support you, and so now I don't know what to do. It's not that I feel useless, but you say you need this and that, and you still won't let me help you. There are all the grand plans, but none of them are happening. And I don't want to be the nag. I won't nag you. If you want to see us, we're here, otherwise... I can't take the responsibility for maintaining the friendship all alone. I don't have the energy.

So we'll see. Life events have a way of bringing people back together. My only thought is, is this happening now because you know you are leaving? Is it easier to push me away now, and not have to deal with it when you finally have your bags packed? If it's easier for you, fine. As long as you're conscious of your motivations. It's always easier to leave then to be left anyway.