Snapshot

I think one of the problems with blogging is that it only captures you in a moment. It's like a polaroid of you smiling as you blow out the birthday candles, right before your face gets shoved into the cake.

I've said before, I blog to vent, I blog to process, I blog to just get all the *yeck* out so I can go on with my day. I know this month has been a downer. I haven't felt great for multiple reasons for most parts of most days, but it's notlike I don't have those redeeminf moments in my life, the instances where I am grateful to be alive and healthy and surrounded by people I care about.

Like this morning when I woke Taryn up to nurse, and before her eyes were even open, she was pointing, her little crooked finger sticking out towards the wall, towards whatever, just pointing, because that's what she does best right now.

Or after lunch, cracking up with Ally in the stairway about some dumb story or crazt sex-scapade, or making fun of people at work and clients, and generally just beign jolly as shit before we get back to the grind.

Or sitting on my porch having wine with Teresa, just catching up and appreciating being with someone to knows me so well and is so happy and doing wonderfully right now, even though she's really going through it.

Or emailing with my mom to get together this weekend to just spend time with the three of us, my daughter, my mom and I which always regenerizes my soul.

Or standing in the kitchen with P's arms wrapped around me, my face buried in his neck. The one place in the world I feel the safest when everything else feels so unsteady.

Or joking with Johana abotu dying her hair too light and discussing when she'll get her tongue pierced and when her man-friend is going to come visit her. Re-telling the stories of funny and cute things T-Boog did today, and even the minute details like when she slept, if she pooped, what she ate, that I revel in daily.

All these simple pleasures today, and I thank God for each one. It's not all bad, and really, most things are great. I just use this space to get the evil out of me so that I can enjoy these everyday interactions that make me who I am, and help me to appreciate what I have in life.