January 15, 2009

God, this is hard sometimes...

Sometimes the days are so hard that I am in tears by the time P gets home. Yesterday I had a screaming infant and a toddler who melted into the floor in tears, begging me to pick her up instead of the baby. I'm still struggling to balance my time, to make Boogie feel loved and attended to, but also to make sure Gorilita's needs are met as well. Then mine. Mine are always last, but I knew that going into this parenting thing, and I'm okay with that. It's splitting time with the girls that is killing me.

Then there are other times, like this morning, where Boogie is so loving and attentive to her sister, playing with her and seeing Glorilita's huge smile when she sees her sister's face melts my heart and makes the rough patches totally worth it. Then I'm in tears anyway when P gets home, so happy that I decided to sacrifice once again so that these sisters will grow up close in age, and hopefully as friends.

I just have to remind myself when things are hard that it will pass, and soon they will be able to play together and making sure they both feel loved now is vital to their later development.

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