Month Five

My Darling girl. I don't know what to say except you are becoming such a lovely little baby to be around. Our days are filled with giggles and belly laughs, you grabbing for the dogs' ears and doubling over in laughter when they lick your nose. Taryn is, of course, the person who makes you laugh the easiest, but really anything out of the ordinary may elicit your one dimpled grin.

We haven't seen any teeth yet but you're chewing on everything like a mad woman, so I know it's coming soon. My shoulder is still a favorite, but you also enjoy your thumb a lot, though when you chew on it your finger goes up your nose or digs in your eye, so it usually doesn't last very long. We have a fabric book attached to your carseat and you chew on that while we are driving. Speaking of which, the screaming has mostly ended in the car. You are usually okay unless you're overtired, and even then it just takes a couple minutes for you to fall asleep once the car is moving. Taryn has been on tears a few times because you were crying and her arms are not long enough to reach you in the car, but then you always passed out so we could start singing again.

You don't take a binkie anymore, and I'm not really sure what changed. I wonder if it will make a comeback when you are in daycare (starting next week, I am so bummed out that I have to leave you guys to go back to work, but the economy is crap and we can't risk me being a stay-at-home mom, and your Papa losing his job). So I have 2 weeks left with you and your sister, but you will be starting early to hopefully make the adjustment a little bit easier (for me, I'm sure) but you two are such amazing, happy, well-adjusted kids that I really don't forsee any problems. And if there are, maybe it will be motivation for me to stay home. I'm glad we decided to put you two in the same center, that way you'll be together all day long and Taryn will be able to look out for me and report back if you are crying too much or anything crazy happens. I'm actually really excited to have you guys stay with Nana for a day as well, so that you will grow up seeing her around on a more regular basis, and your Papa will be home one day as well, so maybe one day he'll understand that it is a full-time job watching you two.

Sweetheart, I know I made this same with for Taryn at the same point in time, but I hope against all hopes that you have the choice to go back to work if you decide to have kids. It's absolutely heart-wrenching to be forced to leave you guys with a stranger, and though your sister made it out fine so far I abhor the fact that I just don't have a choice. I'm grateful that my schedule will allow me to be home with you guys 3 full days each week, and you'll be with family the other half of the time, but I want you all to myself. I know that I am the best person to raise you, and I worry how jumping from person to person will affect your bonding abilities, but I also know the socialization will be great for you and that in the long run I'll benefit from being back at work as well. Just know that I always tried to do what was best for us as a family, that I love you, and I am so grateful I was able to stay with you for so long.

So you're rolling both ways now and I really have to watch you carefully to make sure that you don't roll right off the mat in the living room. We've been looking for another car seat for you since you weigh close to 16.5 lbs and are probably 26 inches tall already. Not only is it crazy hard to carry you in the infant seat, I'm thinking safety-wise you could benefit from a bigger one as well. So soon we'll be back in the Mazda (yay!) and you and your sister should be a little further away from each other so she can't take all your toys while I'm driving (because yours really are much cooler than hers) and we'll be making beach runs and going to the museum, and if you keep sleeping like a champ I'll even take you guys to the aquarium this Summer.

The best part of this past month though has been you in the walker, scooting around the house, and even coming when we call for you. You love it and can mostly go forward, though when you get really excited you always go backwards. You've also been spending a lot of time in the jumperoo, mostly so that I can eat or wrap presents when you aren't in the mood to lay on the mat with your sister. And you just jump away, squealing with delight, smacking the buttons to see the light show and when we talk with you, or you see the dogs walk by you start jumping even harder. You haven't fallen asleep yet (like your sister did a few times) but I'm thinking it's only a matter of time before you do, and we'll make sure to get pictures to bribe you with when you are a teenager.

Honey, I am so excited that you are here. I waited so long to see you, then even longer to see your wonderful chipper personality emerge. Life feels perfect now that you are in it with us, and I look forward to every single day that I get to see your adorable face. I am so excited for the future that we will spend together, and I know that you and your sister will have a bond that will last forever.

I love you Angelbaby.

Love, Mama