I've created a monster

(And I'm doing this all one handed)

When we first brought Duckie home, we thought she was the most perfect little baby. She slept in her crib, or her bassinette, or even the play yard with no problems at all. She slept all day, and all night, we had to wake her up to feed her.

Then a couple weeks later, she started on this trip that she would only sleep in her bassinette. Okay, we can deal with that.

Then a week later, she decided that she wanted to sleep all day, but stay up all night. And I mean, all night long from 11pm-4am. That wasn't working. At all. So I started working on getting her on a more regular schedule so that I didn't FedEx her back to wherever in Hell she came from.

So as I'm working on her schedule, she decides that now, she will only sleep 1) when someone is holding her (like right now) or 2) in my bed. MY bed. Okay, I figure, as long as she's actually sleeping at night, I can handle that. It's easier to nurse her anyway.

But no. Now she has gone entirely too far. Now, she not only will not sleep in the bed alone, she decides that 5 hours awake per day isn't enough. She wants to be awake 10 hours per day. AND she wants to nurse every 1.5 hours.

WTF?

I know "Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative" but this is too much. How am I supposed to blog, and check my email, and shower for christsakes, when I have a 10lb fussy infant attached to my boob?

HELP!!!