Girlfriends

In high school, I was one of those girls who had one female "best friend" and a lot of male friends. I didn't get along with females too well, in my mind because they were intimidated by me and treated me like shit because their boys were always trying to talk to me (which was often true) but looking back I think it was easier to have male friends and retain some essence of control in the relationship. Like, I'll kick it with you, but I get to decide how close we get and how long we remain friends. With females, I didn't have that control. I was at the whim of their moods, and maybe this week we'd be friends, but next week we wouldn't. I had enough mood swings of my own without dealing with theirs too.

Don't get me wrong, I always had girlfriends, but they were just never as close as a lot of the guys were. The shitty part being I didn't feel like I could trust them with intimate details of my life like I trusted some of the guys. Because it seemed that when it came down to it, girls at that age were usually taking the sides of their men and leaving thier female friends to fend for themselves when shit went down.

Looking back on my friendships when I was in high school, I'm disappointed that I didn't take the time to cultivate deeper relationships with other women. I miss it now, now that I see the value of having female friends, and the manipulations that men spin with women they are attracted to. I know it's not all about hok-ups for all guys, but for enough it is, and they've tainted my view of single men. Aside from that, I don't really have a choice now, you know? Because a lot guys don't want married female friends. For obvious reasons.

I was just sitting here feeling so grateful for the women that I am close to now. To be able to sit down at any point in the day, regardless of whatever is going on around us and share a funny story about our kids, or a hug when one of us is going through a rough time, or to just check in and go over some small detail of an upcoming party or wedding, and effortlessly transition into the latest gossip or newest shoe purchase. You just don't get that with a lot of guy friends.

To be able to cry in front of someone and not make them feel uncomfortable, or to relive the gory details of childbirth and have someone completely understand, or to be so busy you don't talk for weeks, and when you finally sit down to catch up it's like no time has passed at all, it's priceless. And even when we're all at different points in our lives, some of us having children (okay, so that's a huge group of "some" right at the moment), some getting married, others changing jobs or schools, we always seem to be able to connect, and empathize, and laugh together.

So for all those times I bemoaned being female, when Aunt Flo came to visit, I had to pee out in the wilderness, or when I was in labor for 11.5 hours while my husband was pain-free, I just have to say I'm damn glad to have been born a woman, and to have the opportunity to have met all my girlfriends.