Waste of a Day

It would be so easy to blame it on Taryn that I'm home right now. It would be easy to say that if she would sleep somewhere besides her crib, I'd be out partying. But she doesn't. And I'm not.

I'm not angry about her. I'm angry that P made us leave late, so I literally got 10 minutes to sit and relax, when I could have had an hour and a half. But he refused to help me with anything, and decided at the last minute to take a shower. And to work on a mix CD I'd been asking about for a week.

And we could have taken 2 cars, but he didn't want to waste gas. So instead of him bringing her home and me finally! getting a night out to relax with friends, I have to go home with him.

And his only response: "I didn't want to go anyway. You should have just left me at the house with the baby."

Funny, I seem to remember similar words before, and when I actually go out without him, he gets so petty and vindictive. Like "falling asleep and not hearing his phone" when he agreed to pick me up so I wouldn't drive drunk. Or "accidentally taking my keys" so that I can't leave unless someone picks me up. He doesn't want to go out with me, and he doesn't want me to go out without him. So what the fuck am I supposed to do? Stay home every night, by myself?

Frustrated and angry don't explain how hopelessly depressed I am.