Baby Ache

I don't know what has possessed me the last week or so, but I feel like I'm having baby withdrawals! Taryn has grown in the last month to such an incredible little girl, I can't wait to get pregnant again and be in awe twice as much as I am now.

Maybe part of it has to do with the fact that I'm surrounded by pregnant people at work, and most of my friends are parents now. But I miss being pregnant. I know it annoyed people that I always had a hand on my belly, but feeling her kick was the most amazingly-odd sensation, I didn't want to miss a single one.

And granted, it wasn't all fun and bubbles, especially the birth and sleepless nights, but I was so grateful to be blessed with the ability to conceive and carry my own baby... it may sound weird to some folks, but I seriously considered being a surrogate, just to be pregnant again. And do a good deed. If I could be pregnant and skip over the birth part, I may be more inclined, but I also would have to find the right family, and it's slim picking when you aren't looking.

I guess that now that we've decided to try again next year, I want to stay in the moment and enjoy every second of Taryn being a toddler, but I think I'll love being pregnant and taking her to the park, as tired as I'm sure I will be this time we'll have more help, and I can listen to my body more instead of pushing to do everything all the time.

It just makes me smile, hoping and dreaming about the future. I'm really grateful for the escape.